Warburton could occasionally hear the faint strains of music. From time
to time the carriage-caller bawled out a number, and the carriage would
roll up under the porte-cochere. Warburton concluded that it would be a
good plan to hunt up his rig. His search did not last long. The bay and
the gray stood only a little way from the gate. The box was vacant, and
he climbed up and gathered the reins. He sat there for some time,
longing intensely for a cigar, a good cigar, such as gentlemen smoked.
"Seventeen!" came hoarsely along on the wings of the night. "Number
seventeen, and lively there!"
Warburton's pulse doubled its beat. His number!
"Skt!" The gray and the bay started forward, took the half-circle and
stopped under the porte-cochere. Warburton recollected that a
fashionable groom never turned his head unless spoken to; so he leveled
his gaze at his horses' ears and waited. But from the very corner of
his eye he caught the glimpse of two women, one of whom was enveloped
in a crimson cloak. He thrilled with exultation. What a joke it was! He
felt the carriage list as the women stepped in. The door slammed to,
and the rare good joke was on the way.
"Off with you!" cried the pompous footman, with an imperious wave of
the hand. "Number ninety-nine!"
"Ninety-nine! Ninety-nine!" bawled the carriage man.
Our jehu turned into the avenue, holding a tolerable rein. He clucked
and lightly touched the horses with the lash. _This_ was true sport;
_this_ was humor, genuine, initiative, unforced. He could imagine the
girls and their fright when he finally slowed down, opened the door,
and kissed them both. Wouldn't they let out a yell, though? His plan
was to drive furiously for half a dozen blocks, zigzag from one side of
the street to the other, taking the corners sharply, and then make for
Scott Circle.
Now, a lad of six can tell the difference between seventeen and
seventy-one. But this astonishing jehu of mine had been conspicuous as
the worst mathematician and the best soldier in his class at West
Point. No more did he remember that he was not in the wild West, and
that here in the East there were laws prohibiting reckless driving.
He drove decently enough till he struck Dupont Circle. From here he
turned into New Hampshire, thinking it to be Rhode Island. Mistake
number two. He had studied the city map, but he was conscious of not
knowing it as well as he should have known it; but, true to his nature,
he trusted to luck.
Aside from all this, he forgot that a woman might appreciate this joke
only when she heard it recounted. To live through it was altogether a
different matter. In an episode like this, a woman's imagination, given
the darkness such as usually fills a carriage at night, becomes a round
of terrors. Every moment is freighted with death or disfigurement. Her
nerves are like the taut strings of a harp in a wintry wind, ready to
snap at any moment; and then, hysteria. With man the play, and only the
play, is the thing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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