The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
Martin shot abominably that day, and, coming home in the evening gloomy
and savage, went straight to his room, and did not reappear till
dinner-time. Elsa had been taken in by one of the moustache-tuggers.
Martin found himself seated on her other side. It was so pleasant to be
near her, and to feel that the bard was away at the other end of the
table, that for the moment his spirits revived.
'Well, how did you like the ride?' he asked, with a smile. 'Did you put
that girdle round the world?'
She looked at him--once. The next moment he had an uninterrupted view
of her shoulder, and heard the sound of her voice as she prattled gaily
to the man on her other side.
His heart gave a sudden bound. He understood now. The demon butler had
had his wicked way. Good heavens! She had thought he was taunting her!
He must explain at once. He--
'Hock or sherry, sir?'
He looked up into Kegg's expressionless eyes. The butler was wearing
his on-duty mask. There was no sign of triumph in his face.
'Oh, sherry. I mean hock. No, sherry. Neither.'
This was awful. He must put this right.
'Elsa,' he said.
She was engrossed in her conversation with her neighbour.
From down the table in a sudden lull in the talk came the voice of Mr
Barstowe. He seemed to be in the middle of a narrative.
'Fortunately,' he was saying, 'I had with me a volume of Shelley, and
one of my own little efforts. I had read Miss Keith the whole of the
latter and much of the former before the chauffeur announced that it
was once more possible--'
'Elsa,' said the wretched man, 'I had no idea--you don't think--'
She turned to him.
'I beg your pardon?' she said, very sweetly.
'I swear I didn't know--I mean, I'd forgotten--I mean--'
She wrinkled her forehead.
'I'm really afraid I don't understand.'
'I mean, about the car breaking down.'
'The car? Oh, yes. Yes, it broke down. We were delayed quite a little
while. Mr Barstowe read me some of his poems. It was perfectly lovely.
I was quite sorry when Roberts told us we could go on again. But do you
really mean to tell me, Mr Lambert, that you--'
And once more the world became all shoulder.
When the men trailed into the presence of the ladies for that brief
seance on which etiquette insisted before permitting the stampede to
the billiard-room, Elsa was not to be seen.
'Elsa?' said Mrs Keith in answer to Martin's question. 'She has gone to
bed. The poor child has a headache. I am afraid she had a tiring day.'
There was an early start for the guns next morning, and as Elsa did not
appear at breakfast Martin had to leave without seeing her. His
shooting was even worse than it had been on the previous day.
It was not until late in the evening that the party returned to the
house. Martin, on the way to his room, met Mrs Keith on the stairs. She
appeared somewhat agitated.
'Oh, Martin,' she said. 'I'm so glad you're back. Have you seen
anything of Elsa?'
'Elsa?'
'Wasn't she with the guns?'
'With the guns' said Martin, puzzled. 'No.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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