The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
From the very start, from the moment when he revealed the fact that his
income, salary and private means included, amounted to less than two
hundred pounds, he had realized that this was going to be one of his
failures. It was the gruesome Early Victorianness of it all that took
the heart out of him. Mr Sheppherd had always reminded him of a heavy
father out of a three-volume novel, but, compared with his demeanour as
he listened now, his attitude hitherto had been light and whimsical.
Until this moment Owen had not imagined that this sort of thing ever
happened nowadays outside the comic papers. By the end of the second
minute he would not have been surprised to find himself sailing through
the air, urged by Mr Sheppherd's boot, his transit indicated by a
dotted line and a few stars.
Mr Sheppherd's manner was inclined to bleakness.
'This is most unfortunate,' he said. 'Most unfortunate. I have my
daughter's happiness to consider. It is my duty as a father.' He
paused. 'You say you have no prospects? I should have supposed that
your uncle--? Surely, with his influence--?'
'My uncle shot his bolt when he got me into the bank. That finished
him, as far as I'm concerned. I'm not his only nephew, you know. There
are about a hundred others, all trailing him like bloodhounds.'
Mr Sheppherd coughed the small cough of disapproval. He was feeling
more than a little aggrieved.
He had met Owen for the first time at dinner at the house of his uncle
Henry, a man of unquestioned substance, whose habit it was to invite
each of his eleven nephews to dinner once a year. But Mr Sheppherd did
not know this. For all he knew, Owen was in the habit of hobnobbing
with the great man every night. He could not say exactly that it was
sharp practice on Owen's part to accept his invitation to call, and,
having called, to continue calling long enough to make the present
deplorable situation possible; but he felt that it would have been in
better taste for the young man to have effaced himself and behaved more
like a bank-clerk and less like an heir.
'I am exceedingly sorry for this, Mr Bentley,' he said, 'but you will
understand that I cannot--It is, of course, out of the question. It
would be best, in the circumstances, I think, if you did not see my
daughter again--'
'She's waiting in the passage outside,' said Owen, simply.
'--after today. Good-bye.'
Owen left the room. Audrey was hovering in the neighbourhood of the
door. She came quickly up to him, and his spirits rose, as they always
did, at the sight of her.
'Well?' she said.
He shook his head.
'No good,' he said.
Audrey considered the problem for a moment, and was rewarded with an
idea.
'Shall I go in and cry?'
'It wouldn't be of any use.'
'Tell me what happened.'
'He said I mustn't see you again.'
'He didn't mean it.'
'He thinks he did.'
Audrey reflected.
'We shall simply have to keep writing, then. And we can talk on the
telephone. That isn't seeing each other. Has your bank a telephone?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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