The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
It was a standard loaf, containing eighty per cent of semolina, and it
practically wiped the Infant Samuel out of existence. At the same
moment, at his back, there sounded a loud, wrathful snort.
He spun round. The door was open, and at the other side of the table
was standing a large, black-bearded, shirt-sleeved man, in an attitude
rather reminiscent of Ajax defying the lightning. His hands trembled.
His beard bristled. His eyes gleamed ferociously beneath enormous
eyebrows. As Owen turned, he gave tongue in a voice like the discharge
of a broadside.
'Stop it!'
Owen's mind, wrenched too suddenly from the dreamy future to the vivid
present, was not yet completely under control. He gaped.
'Stop--that--infernal--noise!' roared the man.
He shot through the door, banging it after him, and pounded up the
stairs.
Owen was annoyed. The artistic temperament was all very well, but
there were limits. It was absurd that obscure authors should behave in
this way. Prosser! Who on earth was Prosser? Had anyone ever heard of
him? No! Yet here he was going about the country clipping small boys
over the ear-hole, and flinging loaves of bread at bank-clerks as if he
were Henry James or Marie Corelli. Owen reproached himself bitterly for
his momentary loss of presence of mind. If he had only kept his head,
he could have taken a flying shot at the man with the marmalade-pot. It
had been within easy reach. Instead of which, he had merely stood and
gaped. Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It
might have been.'
His manly regret was interrupted by the entrance of Mr Dorman with the
information that the dog-cart was at the door.
* * * * *
Audrey was out of town when Owen arrived in London, but she returned a
week later. The sound of her voice through the telephone did much to
cure the restlessness from which he had been suffering since the
conclusion of his holiday. But the thought that she was so near yet so
inaccessible produced in him a meditative melancholy which enveloped
him like a cloud that would not lift. His manner became distrait. He
lost weight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account