The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
All that James had ever heard or read about the wonderful devotion to
study of the modern German young man came home to him during the next
two weeks. Our English youth fritters away its time in idleness and
pleasure-seeking. The German concentrates. Adolf concentrated like a
porous plaster. Every day after breakfast, just when the success of
James's literary career depended on absolute seclusion, he would come
trotting up for his lesson. James's writing practically ceased.
This sort of thing cannot last. There is a limit, and Adolf reached it
when he attempted to add night-classes to the existing curriculum.
James, as had been said, was in the habit of taking coffee with Mr
Blatherwick in his study after seeing the boys into bed. It was while
he was on his way to keep this appointment, a fortnight after his first
interview with Adolf, that the young student waylaid him with the
evening paper.
Something should have warned Adolf that the moment was not well chosen.
To begin with, James had a headache, the result of a hard day with the
boys. Then that morning's English lesson had caused him to forget
entirely an idea which had promised to be the nucleus of an excellent
plot. And, lastly, passing through the hall but an instant before, he
had met Violet, carrying the coffee and the evening post to the study,
and she had given him two long envelopes addressed in his own
handwriting. He was brooding over these, preparatory to opening them,
at the very moment when Adolf addressed him.
'Eggscuse,' said Adolf, opening the paper.
James's eyes gleamed ominously.
'Zere are here,' continued Adolf, unseeing, 'some beyond-gombarison hard
vords vich I do nod onderstand. For eggsample--'
It was at this point that James kicked him.
Adolf leaped like a stricken chamois.
'Vot iss?' he cried.
With these long envelopes in his hand James cared for nothing. He
kicked Adolf again.
'Zo!' said the student, having bounded away. He added a few words in
his native tongue, and proceeded. 'Vait! Lizzun! I zay to you, vait!
Brezendly, ven I haf dze zilver bolished und my odder dudies zo
numerous berformed, I do Herr Blazzervig vil vith von liddle szdory
vich you do know go. Zo!'
He shot off to his lair.
James turned away and went down the passage to restore his nervous
tissues with coffee.
Meanwhile, in the study, leaning against the mantelpiece in moody
reflection, Mr Blatherwick was musing sadly on the hardships of the
schoolmaster's life. The proprietor of Harrow House was a long, grave
man, one of the last to hold out against the anti-whisker crusade. He
had expressionless hazel eyes, and a general air of being present in
body but absent in spirit. Mothers who visited the school to introduce
their sons put his vagueness down to activity of mind. 'That busy
brain,' they thought, 'is never at rest. Even while he is talking to
us some abstruse point in the classics is occupying his mind.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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