The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
What was occupying his mind at the present moment was the thoroughly
unsatisfactory conduct of his wife's brother, Bertie Baxter. The more
tensely he brooded over the salient points in the life-history of his
wife's brother, Bertie Baxter, the deeper did the iron become embedded
in his soul. Bertie was one of Nature's touchers. This is the age of
the specialist, Bertie's speciality was borrowing money. He was a man
of almost eerie versatility in this direction. Time could not wither
nor custom stale his infinite variety. He could borrow with a breezy
bluffness which made the thing practically a hold-up. And anon, when
his victim had steeled himself against this method, he could extract
another five-pound note from his little hoard with the delicacy of one
playing spillikins. Mr Blatherwick had been a gold-mine to him for
years. As a rule, the proprietor of Harrow House unbelted without
complaint, for Bertie, as every good borrower should, had that knack of
making his victim feel during the actual moment of paying over, as if
he had just made a rather good investment. But released from the spell
of his brother-in-law's personal magnetism, Mr Blatherwick was apt to
brood. He was brooding now. Why, he was asking himself morosely, should
he be harassed by this Bertie? It was not as if Bertie was penniless.
He had a little income of his own. No, it was pure lack of
consideration. Who was Bertie that he--
At this point in his meditations Violet entered with the after-dinner
coffee and the evening post.
Mr Blatherwick took the letters. There were two of them, and one he
saw, with a rush of indignation, was in the handwriting of his
brother-in-law. Mr Blatherwick's blood simmered. So the fellow thought
he could borrow by post, did he? Not even trouble to pay a visit, eh?
He tore the letter open, and the first thing he saw was a cheque for
five pounds.
Mr Blatherwick was astounded. That a letter from his brother-in-law
should not contain a request for money was surprising; that it should
contain a cheque, even for five pounds, was miraculous.
He opened the second letter. It was short, but full of the finest,
noblest sentiments; to wit, that the writer, Charles J. Pickersgill,
having heard the school so highly spoken of by his friend, Mr Herbert
Baxter, would be glad if Mr Blatherwick could take in his three sons,
aged seven, nine, and eleven respectively, at the earliest convenient
date.
Mr Blatherwick's first feeling was one of remorse that even in thought
he should have been harsh to the golden-hearted Bertie. His next was
one of elation.
Violet, meanwhile, stood patiently before him with the coffee. Mr
Blatherwick helped himself. His eye fell on Violet.
Violet was a friendly, warm-hearted little thing. She saw that Mr
Blatherwick had had good news; and, as the bearer of the letters which
had contained it, she felt almost responsible. She smiled kindly up at
Mr Blatherwick.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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