The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
'I hope you will meet her many more times at lunch, my boy. I hope you
will come to look upon her as a second mother.'
This was where Rollo asked if he might have a little more brandy.
When the restorative came he drank it at a gulp; then looked across at
his uncle. The great man still mused.
'Er--when is it to be?' asked Rollo. 'The wedding, and all that?'
'Hardly before the Fall, I think. No, not before the Fall. I shall be
busy till then. I have taken no steps in the matter yet.'
'No steps? You mean--? Haven't you--haven't you proposed?'
'I have had no time. Be reasonable, my boy; be reasonable.'
'Oh!' said Rollo.
He breathed a long breath. A suspicion of silver lining had become
visible through the clouds.
'I doubt,' said Mr Galloway, meditatively, 'if I shall be able to find
time till the end of the week. I am very busy. Let me see. Tomorrow?
No. Meeting of the shareholders. Thursday? Friday? No. No, it will have
to stand over till Saturday. After Saturday's matinee. That will do
excellently.'
* * * * *
There is a dramatic spectacle to be observed every day in this land of
ours, which, though deserving of recognition, no artist has yet
pictured on canvas. We allude to the suburban season-ticket holder's
sudden flash of speed. Everyone must have seen at one time or another a
happy, bright-faced season-ticket holder strolling placidly towards the
station, humming, perhaps, in his light-heartedness, some gay air. He
feels secure. Fate cannot touch him, for he has left himself for once
plenty of time to catch that 8.50, for which he has so often sprinted
like the gazelle of the prairie. As he strolls, suddenly his eye falls
on the church clock. The next moment with a passionate cry he is
endeavouring to lower his record for the fifty-yard dash. All the while
his watch has been fifteen minutes slow.
In just such a case was Rollo Finch. He had fancied that he had plenty
of time. And now, in an instant, the fact was borne in upon him that he
must hurry.
For the greater part of the night of his uncle's dinner he lay
sleepless, vainly endeavouring to find a way out of the difficulty. It
was not till early morning that he faced the inevitable. He hated to
abandon the schedule. To do so meant changing a well-ordered advance
into a forlorn hope. But circumstances compelled it. There are moments
when speed alone can save love's season-ticket holder.
On the following afternoon he acted. It was no occasion for stint. He
had to condense into one day the carefully considered movements of two
weeks, and to the best of his ability he did so. He bought three
bouquets, a bracelet, and a gold Billiken with ruby eyes, and sent them
to the theatre by messenger-boy. With them went an invitation to
supper.
Then, with the feeling that he had done all that was possible, he
returned to his flat and waited for the hour.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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