The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
Clarence, when not at the University, lived with his father and mother
in Belgrave Square. His mother had been a Miss Trotter, of Chicago, and
it was on her dowry that the Runnymedes contrived to make both ends
meet. For a noble family they were in somewhat straitened circumstances
financially. They lived, simply and without envy of their rich
fellow-citizens, on their hundred thousand pounds a year. They asked no
more. It enabled them to entertain on a modest scale. Clarence had been
able to go to Oxford; his elder brother, Lord Staines, into the Guards.
The girls could buy an occasional new frock. On the whole, they were a
thoroughly happy, contented English family of the best sort. Mr Trotter,
it is true, was something of a drawback. He was a rugged old tainted
millionaire of the old school, with a fondness for shirt-sleeves and a
tendency to give undue publicity to toothpicks. But he had been made to
understand at an early date that the dead-line for him was the farther
shore of the Atlantic Ocean, and he now gave little trouble.
Having dressed for dinner, Clarence proceeded to the library, where he
found his mother in hysterics and his father in a state of collapse on
the sofa. Clarence was too well-bred to make any comment. A true
Runnymede, he affected to notice nothing, and, picking up the evening
paper, began to read. The announcement of his engagement could be
postponed to a more suitable time.
'Clarence!' whispered a voice from the sofa.
'Yes, father?'
The silver-haired old man gasped for utterance.
'I've lost my little veto,' he said, brokenly, at length.
'Where did you see it last?' asked Clarence, ever practical.
'It's that fellow Rackstraw!' cried the old man, in feeble rage. 'That
bounder Rackstraw! He's the man behind it all. The robber!'
'Clarence!'
It was his mother who spoke. Her voice seemed to rip the air into a
million shreds and stamp on them. There are few things more terrible
than a Chicago voice raised in excitement or anguish.
'Mother?'
'Never mind your pop and his old veto. He didn't know he had one till
the paper said he'd lost it. You listen to me. Clarence, we are
ruined.'
Clarence looked at her inquiringly.
'Ruined much?' he asked.
'Bed-rock,' said his mother. 'If we have sixty thousand dollars a year
after this, it's all we shall have.'
A low howl escaped from the stricken old man on the sofa.
Clarence betrayed no emotion.
'Ah,' he said, calmly. 'How did it happen?'
'I've just had a cable from Chicago, from your grand-pop. He's been
trying to corner wheat. He always was an impulsive old gazook.'
'But surely,' said Clarence, a dim recollection of something he had
heard or read somewhere coming to him, 'isn't cornering wheat a rather
profitable process?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account