The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
He broke off. Stirring things had begun to occur in the neighbourhood
of his ankles, where Bill, the fox-terrier, had encountered an
acquaintance, and, to the accompaniment of a loud, gargling noise, was
endeavouring to bite his head off. The acquaintance, a gentleman of
uncertain breed, equally willing, was chewing Bill's paw with the gusto
of a gourmet. An Irish terrier, with no personal bias towards either
side, was dancing round and attacking each in turn as he came
uppermost. And two poodles leaped madly in and out of the melee,
barking encouragement.
It takes a better man than Mr Warden to break up a gathering of this
kind. The old gentleman was bewildered. He added his voice to the
babel, and twice smote Bill grievously with his cane with blows
intended for the acquaintance, but beyond that he effected nothing. It
seemed probable that the engagement would last till the combatants had
consumed each other, after the fashion of the Kilkenny cats, when there
suddenly appeared from nowhere a young man in grey.
The world is divided into those who can stop dog-fights and those who
cannot. The young man in grey belonged to the former class. Within a
minute from his entrance on the scene the poodles and the Irish terrier
had vanished; the dog of doubtful breed was moving off up the hill,
yelping, with the dispatch of one who remembers an important
appointment, and Bill, miraculously calmed, was seated in the centre of
the Promenade, licking honourable wounds.
Mr Warden was disposed to effervesce with gratitude. The scene had
shaken him, and there had been moments when he had given his ankles up
for lost.
'Don't mention it,' said the young man. 'I enjoy arbitrating in these
little disputes. Dogs seem to like me and trust my judgement. I
consider myself as a sort of honorary dog.'
'Well, I am bound to say, Mr--?'
'Vince--George Vince.'
'My name is Warden. My daughter.'
Ruth inclined her head, and was conscious of a pair of very penetrating
brown eyes looking eagerly into hers in a manner which she thoroughly
resented. She was not used to the other sex meeting her gaze and
holding it as if confident of a friendly welcome. She made up her mind
in that instant that this was a young man who required suppression.
'I've seen you several times out here since I arrived, Miss Warden,'
said Mr Vince. 'Four in all,' he added, precisely.
'Really?' said Ruth.
She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished
with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.
As they approached the casino restlessness crept into Mr Warden's
manner. At the door he stopped and looked at Ruth.
'I think, my dear--' he said.
'Going to have a dash at the _petits chevaux?_' inquired Mr Vince.
'I was there just now. I have an infallible system.'
Mr Warden started like a war-horse at the sound of the trumpet.
'Only it's infallible the wrong way,' went on the young man. 'Well, I
wish you luck. I'll see Miss Warden home.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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