The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
The reader may wonder what was the trouble--why Mr Ferguson could not
stalk out and brusquely dispose of his foe; but then the reader has not
employed Master Bean for a month. Mr Ferguson had, and his nerve had
broken.
A slight cough penetrated the door between the two offices. Mr Ferguson
rose and grabbed his hat. Perhaps a sudden rush--he shot out with the
tense concentration of one moving towards the refreshment-room at a
station where the train stops three minutes.
'Good evening, sir!' was the watcher's view-hallo.
'Ah, Bean,' said Mr Ferguson, flitting rapidly, 'you still here? I
thought you had gone. I'm afraid I cannot stop now. Some other time--'
He was almost through.
'I fear, sir, that you will be unable to get out,' said Master Bean,
sympathetically. 'The building is locked up.'
Men who have been hit by bullets say the first sensation is merely a
sort of dull shock. So it was with Mr Ferguson. He stopped in his
tracks and stared.
'The porter closes the door at seven o'clock punctually, sir. It is now
nearly twenty minutes after the hour.'
Mr Ferguson's brain was still in the numbed stage.
'Closes the door?' he said.
'Yes, sir.'
'Then how are we to get out?'
'I fear we cannot get out, sir.'
Mr Ferguson digested this.
'I am no longer in your employment, sir,' said Master Bean,
respectfully, 'but I hope that in the circumstances you will permit me
to remain here during the night.'
'During the night!'
'It would enable me to sleep more comfortably than on the stairs.'
'But we can't stop here all night,' said Mr Ferguson, feebly.
He had anticipated an unpleasant five minutes in Master Bean's company.
Imagination boggled at the thought of an unpleasant thirteen hours.
He collapsed into a chair.
'I called,' said Master Bean, shelving the trivial subject of the
prospective vigil, 'in the hope that I might persuade you, sir, to
reconsider your decision in regard to my dismissal. I can assure you,
sir, that I am extremely anxious to give satisfaction. If you would
take me back and inform me how I have fallen short, I would endeavour
to improve, I--'
'We can't stop here all night,' interrupted Mr Ferguson, bounding from
his chair and beginning to pace the floor.
'Without presumption, sir, I feel that if you were to give me another
chance I should work to your satisfaction. I should endeavour--'
Mr Ferguson stared at him in dumb horror. He had a momentary vision of
a sleepless night spent in listening to a nicely-polished speech for
the defence. He was seized with a mad desire for flight. He could not
leave the building, but he must get away somewhere and think.
He dashed from the room and raced up the dark stairs. And as he arrived
at the next floor his eye was caught by a thin pencil of light which
proceeded from a door on the left.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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