Am I immoral, O Randolph of seventy? Then I dismally fear I am immoral.
For these are the pictures, old man, and these the thoughts that produce
them—bad as they certainly are for me. For Alicia is my ward—my child.
And whatever happens she must not suspect them. With an effort and a
corrugated brow I dismissed them as I heard Alicia’s step on the
doorway. Very straight and demure she was as she entered, bringing with
her that aura of infinitude which always quickens my foolish pulses.
"Sit down, Alicia," I waved her to a chair with an attempt at a smile.
"Is anything the matter, Uncle Ranny?"
"No—no—nothing—" with exaggerated naturalness. "I only wanted to talk to
you."
"Wasn’t Jimmie cunning!" she laughed, slipping into a chair. "He says
he is going to be a writer like Mark Twain and let you sell his books.
This environment, he says, is enough to make a writer of any fellow." I
laughed.
"Tell me, Alicia—" I began briskly enough, and then, noting her eyes
upon me, those deep eyes of a woman, I faltered:
"Do you—did you—when did this love affair between you and Randolph
begin?"
Alicia made no answer.
"Was it sudden—spontaneous—like that?" and I snapped my fingers, still
clinging to the spirit of lightness with which we had left the table.
"I have loved all of them—always," she murmured, gazing downward, "ever
since I’ve been with them."
"I know that—so have I—so do I—" and my laugh sounded in my own ears
like the grating of rough metallic surfaces together. "But I don’t go
marrying you all—do I? That’s a very serious business, Alicia, this
marrying."
How dull and prosy the words fell upon the air about me! Does middle
age mean being prosy when you mean to be alert, bright and crisp? Yet I
feel younger than any of them.
Her face lifting slowly and her wide-open gray eyes searching mine
suddenly struck me as so piteously sad that I then and there wrote
myself down an ass and a cad and turned away to hide my shame.
"I know it’s serious, Uncle Ranny!" and her voice was like the muted
strings of a violin. "But don’t you think I understand? Please don’t
be afraid of me—won’t you trust me—please?" And she left her chair and
made a step toward me with an imploring gesture of the hands.
"I am not a designing woman," she declared, with a half smile, and then
she ran on more vehemently, "I know that Randolph is younger than I. He
can tire of me a hundred times before he is ready to marry. Oh, we are
a long way from marrying. But he—he begged me to—to be engaged to him
and—and for certain reasons that I can’t tell _any one_, I agreed. And
I’ll keep my word if he keeps—" and there she paused.
A solemn, quite maternal tenderness in her face as she uttered those
words so fascinated me that suddenly I saw her anew—a new Alicia—and
with a strange tug at the heartstrings I marveled at the miracle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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