"All nonsense," he growled, "about children being hostages to fortune.
They are the only contribution a human being really makes to the world.
All the digging that burrowing animals such as I do in the four corners
of the earth, all the fuss that fellows in laboratories make over test
tubes and microscopes and metals and germs, all the stuff that people
sat up nights to put into those damned books of yours—all of that is
done for them—for the next generation and the generations they will
beget."
"Eloquent!" I flippantly mocked him; "but how is it you’ve elected to be
what you call a tramp?"
"Elected?" he grunted disdainfully. "I didn’t elect. It elected me.
Besides," he continued, lowering his voice, "I would have given it up
like a shot—given up anything, changed my life inside out, done anything
if I had been able to marry the one woman I wanted. I’m one of those
strange beasts for whom there is only one woman in the world—no other:
’If heaven would make me such another world
Of one entire and perfect chrysolite,
I’d not have sold her for it,’
he quoted, and added with a hoarse laugh, "you ought to know your
Othello."
"Then why on earth didn’t you marry her?" I could not help marveling.
"Too late," he murmured, with a whimsical smiling twitch to his head,
that is very engaging. "She was already married to somebody else when I
first saw her. Too late," he repeated with ruminative sadness. "But
don’t let us talk about that," he broke off abruptly. "Have the kids
begun to go to school yet?"
"What is the use?" I answered him gloomily. "I haven’t formed any plans
for them yet."
"Plans? What do you mean?" he inquired, puzzled. Like the girl Alicia
he seemed to think there was nothing to do that required any thought.
And I wondered if the simple souls in life are only the improvident or
the very young.
"Do you see this place," I demanded irritably, "as a home for a family
with three children, to say nothing of a fourth in attendance upon
them?"
"Have to have a larger place—farther out—of course," he answered glibly,
puffing at his pipe.
"And am I a person to take care of and bring up three or four children?"
"Why the devil not?" he demanded.
"Why the devil yes?" I retorted fiercely. "What do I know about
children? What experience have I had? Do you see me as a wet nurse to
a lot of babies?"
"Wet nurse be hanged," he responded gruffly. "Here’s your first chance
to be of use in the world and—you talk like that—"
"Easy to talk," ruefully from me.
"Well, what the blazes do you mean to do?"
"That is what I am trying to work out," I fell upon him bitterly.
"D’you think it’s easy? I’ve got to work out some plan—find homes for
them—the right kind of schools—with a home environment. Oh, it’s easy,
I assure you! Besides," I ran on savagely, "you seem to forget I’m to
be married in two weeks."
"I did forget that," growled Dibdin, with a semblance of contrition.
"What does the lady say?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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