The Man Who Lost HimselfStacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
General
The Man Who Lost Himself
Stacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
Mistaken identity -- Fiction
"Here's the card of a Mr. Isaacson who called some time ago, put it in
your pocket. I will write you a couple of fake letters to back the card,
you are in the watch trade. Pebblemarsh is the nearest town, only five
miles down the road; there's a station there, but you'd better avoid
that. There's a garage. You could get a car to London. If they nail you,
scream like an excited Jew, produce your credentials, and if the worst
comes to the worst refer to me and come back here. I would love that
interview. Country policeman, lunatic asylum man, Mr. Isaacson highly
excited, and myself."
He sat down to write the fake letters addressed to Mr. Isaacson by his
uncle Julius Goldberg and his partner Marcus Cohen. As he wrote he
talked over his shoulder on the subject of disguises, alleging that the
only really impenetrable disguise was that of a nigger minstrel.
"You see, all black faces are pretty much the same," said he. "Their
predominant expression is black, but I haven't got the fixings nor the
coloured pants and things, to say nothing of a banjo, so I reckon you'll
just have to be Mr. Isaacson, and you may thank the God of the Hebrews I
haven't made you an old clothes man--watches are respectable. Here are
your letters, they are short but credible. Have you enough money?"
"Lots," said Jones, "and I don't know in the least how to thank you for
what you have done. I'd have been had, sure, wearing that hat and
coat--well, maybe we'll meet again."
They parted at the gate, the hunted one taking the white, dusty road in
the direction of Pebblemarsh, Kellerman watching till a bend hid him
from view.
Kellerman had in some mysterious way added a touch of the footlights to
this business. This confounded Kellerman who thought in terms of reels
and situations, had managed to inspire Jones with the feeling that he
was moving on the screen, and that any moment the hedgerows might give
up an army of pursuers to the delight of a hidden audience.
However, the hedgerows of the Pebblemarsh road gave up nothing but the
odours of briar and woodbine, nothing pursued him but the twitter of
birds and the songs of larks above the summer-drowsy fields.
There is nothing much better to live in the memory than a real old
English country road on a perfect summer afternoon, no pleasanter
companion.
Pebblemarsh is a town of some four thousand souls. It possesses a dye
factory. It once possessed the only really good trout stream in this
part of the country, with the inevitable result, for in England when a
really good trout stream is discovered a dye factory is always erected
upon its banks. Pebblemarsh now only possesses a dye factory.
The main street runs north and south, and as Jones passed up it he might
have fancied himself in Sandbourne or Northbourne, so much alike are
these three towns.
Half way up and opposite the post office, an archway disclosed itself
with, above it, the magic word,
"GARAGE"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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