The Man Who Lost HimselfStacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
General
The Man Who Lost Himself
Stacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
Mistaken identity -- Fiction
He rose as he spoke, and crossing to the bell rang it. They thought he
was speaking in jest and ringing for drinks; they laughed, and Hughie
began to yell, yell, and slash the table with his cane in time to what
he was yelling.
This beast, who was never happy unless smashing glasses, making a noise
or tormenting his neighbours, who had never been really sober for the
space of some five years, who had destroyed a fine estate, and broken
his mother's heart, seemed now endeavouring to break his wanghee cane on
the table.
The noise was terrific.
The door opened and calves appeared.
"Throw that ruffian out," said Jones.
"Out with him," cried Hughie, throwing away his cane at this joke. "Come
on, Stark, let's shove old Jollops out of doors."
He advanced to the merry attack, and Stark, livened up by the other,
closed in, receiving a blow on the midriff that seated him in the
fender.
The next moment Hughie found himself caught by a firm hand, that had
somehow managed to insert itself between the back of his collar and his
neck, gripping the collar.
Choking and crowing he was rushed out of the room and across the hall to
the front door, a running footman preceding him. The door was opened and
he was flung into the street.
The ejection of Stark was an easier matter. The hats and coats were
flung out and the door shut finally.
"If either of those guys comes here again," said Jones to the acolyte,
"call an officer--I mean a constable."
"Yes, my Lord."
"I wonder how many more people I will have to fling out of this house,"
said he to himself, as he returned to the smoking room. "My God, what a
mess that chap Rochester must have made all round. Bar bummers like
those! Heu!"
He ordered the ink to be cleared up, and then he sent for Mr. Church. He
was excited.
"Church," said he. "I've shot out two more of that carrion. You know all
the men I have been fool enough to know. If they come here again tell
the servants not to let them in."
But he had another object in sending for Church. "Where's my cheque
book?" he asked.
Church went to the bureau and opened a lower drawer.
"I think you placed it here, my Lord." He produced it.
When he was gone Jones opened the book; it was one of Coutt's.
He knew his banker now as well as his solicitor. Then he sat down, and
taking Rochester's note from his pocket began to study the handwriting
and signature.
He made a hundred imitations of the signature, and found for the first
time in his life that he was not bad at that sort of work.
Then he burnt the sheets of paper he had been using, put the cheque book
away and looked at the clock; it pointed to eleven.
He switched out the lights and left the room, taking his way upstairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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