The Man Who Stole A Meeting-House: 1878, From "Coupon Bonds"Trowbridge, J. T. (John Townsend)
General
The Man Who Stole A Meeting-House: 1878, From "Coupon Bonds"
Trowbridge, J. T. (John Townsend)
Short stories
“When I got back with my second load, I found the neighbors assembling
to witness the stealing of the old meeting-house, and Jedwort was
answering their remonstrances.
“'A meetin'-house is a respectable kind o' prop'ty to have round,' says
he. 'The steeple'll make a good show behind my house. When folks ride
by, they'll stop and look, and say, “There's a man keeps a private
meetin'-house of his own.” I can have preachin' in't, too, if I want. I'm
able to hire a preacher of my own, or I can preach myself and save the
expense.'
“Of course, neither sarcasm nor argument could have any effect on such a
man. As the neighbors were going away, Jedwort shouted after 'em: 'Call
agin. Glad to see ye. There'll be more sport in a few days, when I take
the dumbed thing away.' (The dumbed thing was the meeting-house.) 'I
invite ye all to see the show. Free gratis. It'll be good as a circus,
and a 'tarnal sight cheaper. The women can bring their knittin', and the
gals their everlastin' tattin'. As it'll be a pious kind o' show, bein'
it's a meetin'-house, guess I'll have notices gi'n out from the pulpits
the Sunday afore.'
“The common was fenced in by sundown; and the next day Jedwort had over
a house-mover from the North Village to look and see what could be done
with the building. 'Can ye snake it over, and drop it back of my house?'
says he.
“It'll be a hard job,' says old Bob, 'without you tear down the steeple
fust.'
“But Jedwort said, 'What's a meetin'-house 'thout a steeple? I've got my
heart kind o' set on that steeple, and I'm bound to go the hull hog on
this 'ere concern, now I've begun.'
“'I vow,' says Bob, examining the timbers, 'I won't warrant but the old
thing'll all tumble down.'
“'I'll resk it.'
“'Yes; but who'll resk the lives of me and my men?'
“'O, you'll see if it's re'ly goin' to tumble, and look out. I'll engage
't me and my boys'll do the most dangerous part of the work. Dumbed if
I wouldn't agree to ride in the steeple and ring the bell if there was
one.'
“I've never heard that the promised notices were read from the pulpits;
but it wasn't many days before Bob came over again, bringing with him
this time his screws and ropes and rollers, his men and timbers, horse
and capstan; and at last the old house might have been seen on its
travels.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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