Thus lived Foma, day in and day out, always turning around on one
and the same place, amid people who were always alike, and who never
inspired him with any noble feelings. And then he considered himself
superior to them, because the thoughts of the possibility of freeing
himself from this life was taking deeper and deeper root in his mind,
because the yearning for freedom held him in an ever firmer embrace,
because ever brighter were the pictures as he imagined himself drifting
away to the border of life, away from this tumult and confusion. More
than once, by night, remaining all by himself, he would firmly close his
eyes and picture to himself a dark throng of people, innumerably great
and even terrible in its immenseness. Crowded together somewhere in a
deep valley, which was surrounded by hillocks, and filled with a
dusty mist, this throng jostled one another on the same place in noisy
confusion, and looked like grain in a hopper. It was as though an
invisible millstone, hidden beneath the feet of the crowd, were grinding
it, and people moved about it like waves--now rushing downward to be
ground the sooner and disappear, now bursting upward in the effort to
escape the merciless millstone. There were also people who resembled
crabs just caught and thrown into a huge basket--clutching at one
another, they twined about heavily, crawled somewhere and interfered
with one another, and could do nothing to free themselves from
captivity.
Foma saw familiar faces amid the crowd: there his father is walking
boldly, sturdily pushing aside and overthrowing everybody on his way;
he is working with his long paws, massing everything with his chest, and
laughing in thundering tones. And then he disappears, sinking somewhere
in the depth, beneath the feet of the people. There, wriggling like
a snake, now jumping on people’s shoulders, now gliding between their
feet, his godfather is working with his lean, but supple and sinewy
body. Here Lubov is crying and struggling, following her father, with
abrupt but faint movements, now remaining behind him, now nearing him
again. Striding softly with a kind smile on her face, stepping aside
from everybody, and making way for everyone, Aunt Anfisa is slowly
moving along. Her image quivers in the darkness before Foma, like the
modest flame of a wax candle. And it dies out and disappears in the
darkness. Pelagaya is quickly going somewhere along a straight road.
There Sophya Pavlovna Medinskaya is standing, her hands hanging
impotently, just as she stood in her drawing-room when he saw her last.
Her eyes were large, but some great fright gleams in them. Sasha,
too, is here. Indifferent, paying no attention to the jostling, she is
stoutly going straight into the very dregs of life, singing her songs
at the top of her voice, her dark eyes fixed in the distance before her.
Foma hears tumult, howls, laughter, drunken shouts, irritable disputes
about copecks--songs and sobs hover over this enormous restless heap of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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