Conduct of life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Physicians -- Fiction
Always dissatisfied with the present time, his capacity for enjoying
the past was correspondingly keen. Reflectively consuming a chop, in
full view of the unappetising compound and infancy's vagaries with a
spoon, he proceeded to re-live it, discerning in the process a thousand
charms to which the reality had seen him blind.
He was unable to shake off the influence of the meeting when dinner
was done. Fancifully, while the child scrambled in a corner with some
toys, he installed Mary in the room; imagining his condition if he had
married her, and moodily watching the curls of tobacco smoke as they
sailed across the dirty dishes. "Damn it!" he exclaimed, rising. But
for the conviction that it would be futile, he would have gone out to
search for her.
That he would see her again before he left the place he was determined.
But he failed to do so both on the morrow and the next day, though he
extended his promenade beyond its usual limits. He did not, in these
excursions, fail to remark that a town sufficiently large to divide one
hopelessly from the face one seeks, can yet be so small that the same
strangers' countenances are recurrent at nearly every turn. A coloured
gentleman he anathematised especially for his iteration.
Though he doubted the possibility of the thing, he could not rid
himself of the idea that she would be at the theatre some evening,
impelled by the temptation to look upon him without his knowledge; and
he played his best now on the chance that she might be there. As often
as was practicable, he scanned the house during the progress of the
piece, and between the acts inspected it through the peep-hole in the
curtain.
Noting his observations one night, a pretty girl in the wings asked
jocularly if "_she_ had promised to wait outside for him."
"No, Kitty, my darling, she hasn't; she won't have anything to do with
me!" he answered, and would have liked to stop and flirt with her. His
brain was hot at the instant, and one woman or another just then----
If Mary had been waiting, he could have talked to her as sentimentally
as before; and have felt as much sentiment, too. All compunction for
his lapses he could assuage by a general condemnation of masculine
nature.
The pretty girl had no part in the play. She was the daughter
of a good-looking woman who was engaged in the dual capacity of
"chamber-maid" and wardrobe-mistress; but although she had only
just left boarding-school, it was a foregone conclusion that, like
her mother, she would be connected with the lower branches of the
profession before long. Already she had acquired very perfectly, in
private, the burlesque lady's tone of address, and was familiar with
the interior of provincial bars, where her mother took a "tonic" after
the performance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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