The Mania of the Nations on the Planet Mars and its Terrific Consequences: A Combination of Fun and WisdomCalisch, James Howard
Science
The Mania of the Nations on the Planet Mars and its Terrific Consequences: A Combination of Fun and Wisdom
Calisch, James Howard
World War, 1914-1918 -- Miscellanea
Another product of a very different kind, manufactured by the Two-Tons,
was mentioned by our Martian informer, the real character of which
Professor FANSEE had some difficulty in deciphering. At first the
Professor translated its name as Koaltar, but as the word was repeated,
it proved to be some sort of national talisman to which they give the
name of Kooltoor. The real meaning of this word is still wrapped in
mystery. It would seem, however, that just as our word Culture refers
to the mental development of the individual, so is the word Kooltoor
used to denote the mental and physical development of the Two-Ton
nation as a whole. I expect that Two-Tonia will be mentioned later in
Professor FANSEE’S manuscript in connection with further international
Martian events.
The other nation most frequently mentioned by our unseen communicant on
Mars seems to be known on that planet by the name of ANGLERS-AXSONS,
and was at other times referred to under the name of BRITS. There is
no doubt but that the two names refer to the same nation, for in one
instance the word Axsons was left out, and our kind Martian spoke
distinctly of the Anglers or Brits. They dwell apparently on a group of
islands called Anglia or Brittia. It further seems that one of these
islands is specifically known as the Ire-island, because the ire of
its inhabitants is so very easily aroused. According to a legend, the
nation of the Brits was founded by a fisherman who drove the snakes
off the islands for the permanent protection of the angleworms. This
fisherman having been a prehistoric patriarch, whose name has failed to
come down the sky-reaching slope of the centuries, the nation is simply
known as the Anglers. The ocean has been the field of their conquests
and the means toward their development, which took about three
centuries, so that their national efforts commenced some two centuries
and a half before the Two-Tons started theirs.
They are so wholeheartedly devoted to fishing, it is said that during
all this stretch of time they continually have had their baited hooks
ready to grab and appropriate anything to be found in, on or near the
ocean. They have not been unsuccessful in their fishing enterprise.
Sometimes they catch fish. At other times they catch islands, coaling
stations, countries occupied by so-called inferior tribes, a canal here
and there built by the laborious efforts of other nations; in fact they
have gathered all sorts of oceanic treasures whenever the other nations
failed to see them first. The surname Ax-sons is probably derived from
the fact that but a few hundred years ago they were mere Skandalnavying
savages whose only weapon of offense and defense was the battle-ax.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account