The Mania of the Nations on the Planet Mars and its Terrific Consequences: A Combination of Fun and WisdomCalisch, James Howard
Science
The Mania of the Nations on the Planet Mars and its Terrific Consequences: A Combination of Fun and Wisdom
Calisch, James Howard
World War, 1914-1918 -- Miscellanea
The Two-Ton philosophers, he said, like himself profoundly impressed
with the Darviniano faith, had commenced to look to the laws of Nature
for moral guidance. And having started to dig in this direction, the
momentum of their brain-weight prevented them from changing their
course. Thus it came about that NEETCH-UR, a philosopher of note in
Two-Tonia, utterly cast aside all Nazarrano precepts. Why cure,
protect or aid the weak? Let the strong survive as Nature naturally
would let them. Will they be less intelligent? Blame Nature. Will they
be less considerate of their brothers’ well-being? It’s the fault of
Nature who then apparently wanted it that way. What NEETCH-UR taught,
therefore, was the moral excellence of physical and mental power,
inconsiderately overriding all those whose powers are less mighty, even
if this “moral” attitude should lead the Martians to a condition of
total im-morality.
NEETCH-UR was an oratorical author productive of high-sounding maxims,
who never endeavored to test their efficiency by the road of logic.
Though his ideals were evidently floating in the wrong direction,
he nevertheless had some of the marks of the genius. Nationality
was to him a minor consideration. He addressed his advocacy of the
rule of the powerful to all the inhabitants of Mars, and if a Brit
or a Skandalnavying were more powerful than a Two-Ton, he would have
witnessed with satisfaction the Two-Ton’s overthrow by the Brit or the
sturdy Skandalnavying.
To the Two-Tons, influenced as they were by the Martian
nationality-mania, this view of life was a bit too broad. The
correctness of the nature-view was not questioned. Especially not since
one of their most renowned empirical scientists, known as Professor
HECKLER, had boldly toddled from his empirical laboratory into the
field of philosophy, and had strenuously emphasized the nature-view,
with utter neglect of the emotional side of the Martian character. But
though the nature-view was held to be perfectly in order, NEETCH-UR’S
international broadness did not coincide with the Two-Tonian national
mental tendencies. No wonder, therefore, that another author soon
arose, named TRITE-SHKUR, who adopted NEETCH-UR’S views, but applied
them exclusively to the glory of the Two-Tons. If any one nation
was to survive by its power to conquer, that one nation must be the
nation of the Two-Tonians. The Brits with their propensity toward
territorial expansion had ruled the misty planet long enough. We, the
Two-Tons, have a greater quantity of explosives than have the Brits.
Our Kooltoor is far greater than their culture. The God of NAZARRO, no
matter what precepts NAZARRO himself may have proclaimed, will take
joy in seeing us conquer. We must go for the Brits, use our explosives
indiscriminately, and thus capture all the territory we can, in order
to force the law of survival to make its decision in our favor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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