When the Two-Tons had decided to attack the Fringe, did they cross that part of their border that leads directly into the Fringe territory? No, they Did-not. By George, king of the Brits, I am almost inclined hereafter to call the Two-Tons the Did-Nots! Instead of this, they decided to run their destructive engines across two small and perfectly nootril countries, one known as Luxury-burgh, and the other inhabited by a valiant little nation whose name is fast going down in Martian history as the BELL-GIANTS. Their country contains all sorts of beautiful old buildings and churches renowned all over Mars for their marvelous bells and chimes; and small as be their number, they are, nevertheless, known as the Giants, because in case of need they are willing to undertake gigantic tasks, from which many another small nation would shrink in fear. Accordingly, the Bell-Giants obstructed the passage of the Two-Tons, and undertook a struggle in which they were bound to be defeated. And here comes a typical instance of Brit deep-low-macy. Because the maniacal envy of nation toward nation had become unbearable even to the deluded Martians, the nations had signed certain agreements for the protection of what was called the buffer-countries, territories whose neutrality was to be respected in case the bigger nations would ever go to war. The Two-Tons had signed this agreement, and so had the Brits. Now after the Brits had endeavored to prevent the war, they published the letters and telegrams which they had exchanged for that purpose with the various foreign dip-low-mats. From this correspondence it appears that the Two-Tons had made an inquiry to find out whether the Brits would look on unmoved or whether they would take a hand in the upheaval, in case the Two-Tons were to start the international cataclasm. In reply, the Brits carefully controlled their muscles and said, they were not at all certain what they would do. May-be they were at first indeed undecided. But then one of the Brit dip-low-mats asked one of the medal-bearing chesty Two-Tons whether Two-Tonia would agree not to annex any part of the Fringe territory. The Two-Ton replied that Two-Tonia would positively refrain from any such glaring violation of the Nazarrano precepts. Whereupon the Brit, who in the meantime had telegraphed to his government, returned to the weighty Two-Ton to ask whether his promise also held good for the Fringe _colonies_. The Two-Ton smilingly remarked that even NAZARRO Himself could not expect the virtue of the Two-Tons to carry them so far as to stoop to so absurd a self-abnegation. And as the Brits were not anxious to have a colonial competitor with habits so deep-digging as those of the Two-Tons, the Brits undoubtedly made up their minds then and there not to look on unmoved. So when the Two-Tons started to cross the territory of the Bell-Giants and forced them to a hopeless self-defense, the Brits rose in ire and made a noisy hallabaloo about the violation of