The Mania of the Nations on the Planet Mars and its Terrific Consequences: A Combination of Fun and Wisdom — John Shaqi
The Mania of the Nations on the Planet Mars and its Terrific Consequences: A Combination of Fun and WisdomCalisch, James Howard
Science
The Mania of the Nations on the Planet Mars and its Terrific Consequences: A Combination of Fun and Wisdom
Calisch, James Howard
World War, 1914-1918 -- Miscellanea
One of the nations involved in this miserable cataclasm, known as the
Chopper-Knees, it said, has at the last moment invented an engine of
destruction excelling all others in deadliness. It consists of an
enormous thin metal globe, to which a device is attached that causes
it to fly up in the air to a considerable height. The device is timed;
so that, when it has reached a certain height and has drifted in a
certain direction, it suddenly comes to a standstill, and by its own
dead weight falls with increasing speed toward the soil. The horror of
it is that upon reaching the surface it explodes, and spreads a thick
cloud of smoke, of such a nature that by powerful electrical action it
gathers unto itself various materials from the atmosphere and from the
soil, with the result that the cloud, instead of diminishing, grows
ever thicker and vaster. The cloud kills all life it comes in contact
with, and it is feared that it may encircle the whole planet. It is
guaranteed to kill every forest and every animal that lives in the
forest, to kill every living creature in the water whose surface it
touches. It is guaranteed to kill every flower, every grassblade, every
thistle; to kill the ass who is eating the thistle as a much desired
delicacy, as well as the flies that pester his bushy hide; and as a
minor effect, it will also kill the followers of NAZARRO who, according
to the legend, once rode through the streets of Jairoosolom on his
patient back. As I have erected my apparatus on the highest promontory
of the planet Mars, just as you probably have done at your end, I shall
be the last to be attacked by the deadly fumes. Already do I see the
cloud fill the valley below me. I see it rising, rising!...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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