Really, I am ashamed of the dress which is intended for me,--a dress of
magnificent pearl-gray silk. Ah, how foolish I was to say that I liked
to be well dressed! A dress for forty francs would have satisfied my
ambition, and here I am attired in one worth two hundred, while my poor
sister is repairing her rags. I do not know where to hide myself; but do
not at least think that I am humiliated by receiving a present. I shall
relieve my conscience of the burden of these kindnesses, my heart tells
me. You see, Camille, everything succeeds with me as soon as I enter
upon it. I light, the first thing, upon an excellent woman, I get more
than I had agreed to take, and I am received and treated as a child whom
it is desired to adopt and spoil. And then to think that you kept me
back a whole six months, imposing an increase of privations upon
yourself and tearing your hair at the idea of my working for you! Good
sister, were you not then a bad mother? Ought not those dear treasures
of children to have been considered above all things, and should they
not have silenced even our own regard for each other? Ah! I was very
much afraid of failure, nevertheless, I will confess to you now, when I
took out of the house our last few louis for the expenses of my journey,
at the risk of returning without having pleased this lady. God has been
concerned in it, Camille; I prayed to him this morning with such
confidence! I asked him so fervently to make me amiable, decorous, and
persuasive. Now I am going to bed, for I am overcome with fatigue. I
love you, my little sister, you know, more than anything else in the
world, and much more than myself. Do not grieve about me then; I am just
now the happiest girl that lives, and yet I am not with you and do not
see our children as they sleep! You see, indeed, that there is no true
happiness in selfishness, since, alone as I am, separated from all that
I love, my heart beats with joy in spite of my tears, and I am going to
thank God upon my knees before I fall asleep.
CAROLINE.
While Mlle de Saint-Geneix was writing to her sister, the Marchioness de
Villemer was talking with the youngest of her sons in her little
drawing-room in the Faubourg Saint-Germain. The house was large and
respectable; yet the Marchioness, formerly rich and now in very narrow
circumstances,--we shall soon see why,--had of late occupied the second
floor in order to turn the first to account.
"Well, dear mother," said the Marquis, "are you satisfied with your new
companion? Your people have told me that she has arrived."
"My dear child," answered the Marchioness, "I have but one word to say
of her, and that is that she has bewitched me."
"Really? Tell me about it."
"Upon my word, I am not too sure that I dare. I am afraid of turning
your head in advance."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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