Nevertheless, in spite of all her efforts, she began to feel that the
time passed tediously with her. She was careful not to write this fact
to her sister, who could have imparted no new courage, and whose letters
were indeed always loving, yet full of condoling and complaints about
her absence and the manner of her self-sacrifice. Caroline humored this
tender and timid soul, for whom she had habitually exerted a maternal
care, and whom she forced herself to sustain by appearing always as
strong and as much at ease as the force of her character enabled her
generally to be; but she had her hours of profound weariness, in which
her heart was oppressed with a dread of being alone. Although she was
more of a captive, more really subjected during a part of the day than
she had ever been in her family, she had her mornings and the last hour
of the night in which to taste the austerity of solitude and to question
herself of her own destiny,--a dangerous liberty which she had never
been allowed when she had four children and a necessitous household upon
her hands. At times she took refuge in certain poetical musings and
found in them an enchanting tenderness; at times, too, a bitterness
without cause and without aim made nature hateful to her, her walks
fatiguing, and sleep oppressive.
She struggled with herself courageously, but these attacks of melancholy
did not escape the eager attention of the Duke d'Aléria. He remarked,
on certain days, a bluish shade, which made her eyes look sunken, and a
sort of involuntary resistance in the muscles of her face when she
smiled. He thought that the hour was approaching, and he proceeded with
the plan which he had adopted. He was more kind and more attentive, and
when he saw that she recognized the change in his manner, he hastened to
remind her delicately that love had nothing to do with it. This grand
game, however, was all to no purpose. Caroline was so simple-natured
that all skill of this kind could hardly fail to be lost on her. When
the Duke surrounded her with delicate and charming attentions, she
attributed them to his friendship, and when he endeavored to goad her on
by withdrawing them she rejoiced the more that they sprang only from
friendship. The Duke's self-esteem prevented him from seeing clearly in
this second phase of his enterprise. Confidence had come; but, in
reality, Caroline might open her eyes with no other pain than that of
profound astonishment and a pitying disdain. The Duke hoped every
returning day to see the growth of spite or impatience in her. He could,
however, detect only a little sadness, for which he ingenuously gave
himself the credit, and which was mildly pleasurable, though by no means
satisfactory to him. "I would have believed her more sensitive," thought
he; "there is a trifle of torpidity in her sorrow, and more mildness
than warmth."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account