“I am trying to understand,” said Clementina, and ceased--and a silence
fell which for a few moments Malcolm could not break. For suddenly he
felt as if he had fallen under the power of a spell. Something seemed
to radiate from her silence which invaded his consciousness. It was as
if the wind which dwells in the tree of life had waked in the twilight
of heaven, and blew upon his spirit. It was not that now first he saw
that she was beautiful; the moment his eyes fell upon her that morning
in the park, he saw her beautiful as he had never seen woman before.
Neither was it that now first he saw her good; even in that first
interview her heart had revealed itself to him as very lovely. But
the foolishness which flowed from her lips, noble and unselfish as it
was, had barred the way betwixt his feelings and her individuality as
effectually as if she had been the loveliest of Venuses lying uncarved
in the lunar marble of Carrara. There _are_ men to whom silliness is
an absolute freezing mixture; to whose hearts a plain, sensible woman
at once appeals as a woman, while no amount of beauty can serve as
sweet oblivious antidote to counteract the nausea produced by folly.
Malcolm had found Clementina irritating, and the more irritating
that she was so beautiful. But at the first sound from her lips that
indicated genuine and truthful thought, the atmosphere had begun to
change; and at the first troubled gleam in her eyes, revealing that she
pursued some dim-seen thing of the world of reality, a nameless potency
throbbed into the spiritual space betwixt her and him, and embraced
them in an aether of entrancing relation. All that had been needed to
awake love to her was, that her soul, her self, should look out of its
windows--and now he had caught a glimpse of it. Not all her beauty,
not all her heart, not all her courage, could draw him while she would
ride only a hobby-horse, however tight its skin might be stuffed with
emotions. But now who could tell how soon she might be charging in the
front line of the Amazons of the Lord--on as real a horse as any in the
heavenly army? For was she not thinking--the rarest human operation in
the world?
“I will try to speak a little more clearly, my lady,” said Malcolm. “If
ease and comfort, and the pleasures of animal and intellectual being,
were the best things to be had, as they are the only things most people
desire, then that maker who did not care that his creatures should
possess or were deprived of such, could not be a good God. But if the
need with the lack of such things should be the means, the only means,
of their gaining something in its very nature so much better that----”
“But,” interrupted Clementina, “if they don’t care about anything
better--if they are content as they are?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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