It was about the 10th of June when Mrs. Dennistoun left London. She had
been in town for about five weeks, which looked like as many months, and
it was with a mingled sense of relief, and of that feeling which is like
death in the heart, the sense of nothing further to be done, of the end
of opportunity, the conclusion of all power to help, which sometimes
comes over an anxious mind, without in any respect diminishing the
anxiety, giving it indeed a depth and pang beyond any other feeling that
is known to the heart of man. What could she do more for her child?
Nothing. It was her only policy to remain away, not to see, certainly
not to remark anything that was happening, to wait if perhaps the moment
might come when she would be of use, and to hope that perhaps that
moment might never need to come, that by some wonderful turn of affairs
all might yet go well. She went back to Windyhill with the promise of a
visit "soon," Philip himself had said--in the pleasure of getting the
house, which was her house, which she had paid for and provisioned, to
himself for his own uses. Mrs. Dennistoun could not help hearing through
her maid something of the festivities which were in prospect after she
was gone, the dinners and gay receptions at which she would have been
_de trop_. She did not wish to hear of them, but these are things that
will make themselves known, and Mrs. Dennistoun had to face the fact
that Elinor was more or less consenting to the certainty of her mother
being _de trop_, which gave her a momentary pang. But after all, what
did it matter? It was not her fault, poor child. I have known a loving
daughter in whose mind there was a sentiment almost of relief amid her
deep grief when her tender mother died. Could such a thing be possible?
It was; because after then, however miserable she might be, there was no
conflict over her, no rending of the strained heart both ways. A woman
who has known life learns to understand and forgive a great many things;
and Mrs. Dennistoun forgave her Elinor, her only child, for whose
happiness she had lived, in that she was almost glad when her mother
went away.
Such things, however, do not make a lonely little house in the country
more cheerful, or tend to make it easier to content one's self with the
Rector's family, and the good old, simple-minded, retired people, with
their little complaints, yet general peacefulness, and incompetence to
understand what tragedy was. They thought on the whole their neighbour
at the Cottage ought to be very thankful that she had got her daughter
well, or, if not very well, at least fashionably, married, with good
connections and all that, which are always of use in the long run. It
was better than marrying a poor curate, which was almost the only chance
a girl had on Windyhill.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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