I will not confuse the reader with a description of all Elinor's
thoughts during the slow progress of that afternoon and evening, which
were as the slow passing of a year to her impatient spirit. She
took the usual afternoon walk with her mother soberly, as became Mrs.
Dennistoun's increasing years, and then she made a pretext of some
errands in the village to occupy her until dark, or rather to leave
her free to twist the thread of her own thoughts as she went along the
silent country road. Her thoughts varied in the afternoon from those
which had seized upon her with such vulture's claws in the morning; but
they were not less overwhelming in that respect. Her mother's suggestion
that _she_ and not Elinor should be the witness of that date, and then
her ponderings as to that date, her slow certainty that she could make
it out, or puzzle it out, as Elinor in her impatience said, which was
the last of all things to be desired--had stung the daughter into a new
and miserable realization of what it was that was demanded of her, which
nobody could do but she. What was it that would be demanded of her? To
stand up in the face of God and man and swear to tell the truth, and
tell--a lie: or else let the man who had been her husband, the love of
her youth, the father of her boy, sink into an abyss of shame. She
thought rapidly, knowing nothing, that surely there could be no
punishment for him, even if it were proved, at the long interval of
twenty years. But, shame--there would be shame. Nothing could save him
from that. Shame which would descend more or less to his son. And then
Elinor reflected, with hot moisture coming out upon her forehead against
the cold breeze of the spring night, on what would be asked of her.
Oh, no doubt, it would be cleverly done! She would be asked if she
remembered his visit, and why she remembered it. She would be led on
carefully to tell the story of the calendar in the hall, and of how it
was but ten days before her marriage--the last hurried, unexpected visit
of the lover before he came as a bridegroom to take her away. It would
be all true, every word, and yet it would be a lie. And standing up
there in that public place, she would be made to repeat it, as she had
done in the flowery garden, in the sunshine, twenty years ago--then
dazed and bewildered, not knowing what she did, and with something of
the blind confidence of youth and love in saying what she was told to
say; but now with clearer insight, with a horrible certainty of the
falsehood of that true story, and the object with which it was required
of her. Happily for herself, Elinor did not think of the ordeal of
cross-examination through which witnesses have to pass. She would not,
I think, have feared that if the instinct of combativeness had been
roused in her: her quick wit and ready spirit would not have failed in
defending herself, and in maintaining the accuracy of the fact to which
she had to bear witness. It was herself, and not an opposing counsel,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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