Earthling: "Oh, you mean Maw and Paw and Hank and Zeke. They're off looking for Martins." (Your Omnipotence is of course aware that in the language of the Earthlings our glorious planet is known as _Mars_, and we as _Martians_, or, evidently, as this Earthling pronounced it, _Martins_.) * * * * * This information was, as you can well imagine, startling, since we had supposed that our landing had been made in the most complete secrecy. What means they had utilized to discover us is unknown. Baren Darl: "Ahhhhh. And, er ... what made them suspect there were Martians in the vicinity?" Earthling: "Huh?" Baren Darl: "What made Maw and Paw and Hank and Zeke think there were Martians around?" Earthling: "Oh." Baren Darl: "What made them think there were Martians about?" Earthling: "Paw says he can smell him a Martin from most twenty miles away. Paw's got a regular feelin' for Martins, like. Paw'd rather shoot him a Martin than eat fried chicken. I wish I could shoot me a Martin, I wish. Yup, I sure wish I could shoot me a Martin. I wish--" (This sixth sense of some of the Earthlings had been unsuspected by Baren Darl in spite of his decals of investigation. Evidently, the Earthlings have an unusual ability to detect the presence of alien life forms. Also surprising was the fact that the Earthlings were evidently aware of our plans to conquer their planet and were already worked up to a pitch of patriotism which made them extremely anxious to destroy us.) Baren Darl turned to me and explained that there were four more of the Earthlings in the woods searching for us and that undoubtedly they would soon return. He suggested that we immediately try some of our weapons upon this specimen. The plan seemed feasible enough so I ordered one of the warriors to find a suitable liquid in which to place a portion of the poison _nark_. Ultimate plans, as you are aware, had been to drop, by spacecraft, small containers of _nark_ in the reservoirs, rivers and lakes of the Earthlings. One drop was designated to be, as your Omnipotence knows, sufficient to poison a reservoir capable of supplying the water needs of a hundred thousand Earthlings. Although water was not available, the warrior was soon able to find what was obviously a container for some type of beverage. It was nearly full of a colorless fluid. The following conversation then took place between Baren Darl and the Earthling: Baren Darl: "What is this?" Earthling: "Huh? Oh, that's _white mule_. Yup, sure is." Baren Darl (puzzled): "I thought a mule was a four legged animal of burden particularly noted for kicking." Earthling (vaguely): "Paw's white mule's got lots of kick in it. Yup." * * * * * Upon finding it was a beverage, as we had suspected, a small quantity of _nark_ was quickly inserted. Baren Darl: "Try a drink." Earthling: "What say?" Baren Darl: "Have a drink?"