I snapped to Baren Darl. "Awaken the Earthman; tell him that we are
Martians and that we seek peace with the inhabitants of Earth."
* * * * *
There was some difficulty in the awakening, but finally Baren Darl
succeeded. The Earthling shook his head groggily and scowled at my
interpreter. The following conversation ensued:
Baren Darl: "Awaken. We have a message of great importance for you."
Earthling: "Huh?"
Baren Darl: "We have a message for you."
Earthling (Rolling over on his other side): "Oh."
Baren Darl said impressively: "In the name of the Most High, the
Glorious, the Omnipotent, Omnipresent, and Omniscient, the Lord of
the Seven, the Leader of the Chosen, Neo Geek XXXVIII; we bring you
greetings from the Martians."
Earthling: "Huh?"
Baren Darl: "We Martians offer you the friendship and the good will of
a people that--"
Earthling: "Martins! Are you'uns Martins?"
Baren Darl: "That is correct. We Martians come with the greetings and--"
At this point, your Omnipotence, my account must of necessity be
somewhat vague, for even after we had made good our escape back to the
spacecruiser, bearing our more serious casualties with us, we were
unable to agree among ourselves on just what had happened.
Baren Darl, who is now under arrest and in the darkest recess of the
Spacecruiser 12B44 laden down with chains, is of the opinion that the
Earthling was none other than either Superman or the Lone Ranger in
disguise. He contends that both of these earthling warriors are prone
to adopt disguises in this manner, revealing themselves only at the
last moment to their enemies.
Suffice to say, however, that we were all successful in making good our
retreat to the spacecruiser although all of our equipment and supplies
were destroyed in the melee. Upon regaining the spacecraft we blasted
off hurriedly, to return to our own sacred planet.
I recommend, your Omnipotence, that the plans to subjugate the planet
Earth be indefinitely postponed in view of the fact that our specially
designed weapons proved worthless and in particular view of the
abilities of Earthling warriors.
I further recommend that the unspeakable Baren Darl, who obviously
frittered away his time during the decals spent on Luna supposedly
studying the Earthlings, be sent to the Nairebis Salt Mines.
Obediently,
Seegeel Wan
Commander
Spacecruiser 12B44.
* * * * *
Maw and Paw Coy and Hank and Zeke came back into the clearing wearily.
The boys had done a lot of tramping and were hungry for their vittles,
and Maw was feeling bodacious about their taking off to go hunting for
Martins. Paw had told her to shut up two or three times but it hadn't
been much use.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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