“And the end of the story?” he asked, in a strained voice.
“The end? Oh, usual end, of course. Chap makes a mess of things and the
bubble bursts.”
“And the end of the wife?”
“The end of the wife?” Lillian broke in, with a little laugh. “Why, the
end of all stupid people who, instead of going through life with a lot
of delightfully human stumbles, come just one big cropper. She naturally
ends in the divorce court!”
They all laughed boisterously. Then laughter, story, and denouement were
all drowned in a tumultuous crash of music. The orchestra ceased; there
was a slight hum of applause; and the curtain rose on the second act of
the comedy.
XXXI
A few minutes before the curtain fell on the second act of 'Other Men's
Shoes' Loder rose from his seat and made his apologies to Lillian.
At any other moment he might have pondered over her manner of accepting
them--the easy indifference with which she let him go. But vastly keener
issues were claiming his attention, issues whose results were wide and
black.
He left the theatre, and, refusing the overtures of cabmen, set himself
to walk to Chilcote's house. His face was hard and emotionless as he
hurried forward, but the chaos in his mind found expression in the
unevenness of his pace. To a strong man the confronting of difficulties
is never alarming and is often fraught with inspiration; but this
applies essentially to the difficulties evolved through the weakness,
the folly, or the force of another; when they arise from within the
matter is of another character. It is in presence of his own soul--and
in that presence alone--that a man may truly measure himself.
As Loder walked onward, treading the whole familiar length of
traffic-filled street, he realized for the first time that he was
standing before that solemn tribunal that the hour had come when he must
answer to himself for himself. The longer and deeper an oblivion the
more painful the awakening. For months the song of self had beaten
about his ears, deadening all other sounds; now abruptly that song had
ceased--not considerately, not lingeringly, but with a suddenness that
made the succeeding silence very terrible.
He walked onward, keeping his direction unseeingly. He was passing
through the fire as surely as though actual flames rose about his feet;
and whatever the result, whatever the fibre of the man who emerged from
the ordeal, the John Loder who had hewn his way through the past weeks
would exist no more. The triumphant egotist--the strong man--who, by his
own strength, had kept his eyes upon one point, refusing to see in other
directions, had ceased to be.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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