“I--I have an appointment at the House,” he said, quickly. “I'll look in
another day when--when I'm better company. I know I'm a bear to-day. My
nerves, you know.” He came back to the couch and took her hand; then he
touched her cheek for an instant with his fingers.
“Good-bye,” he said. “Take care of yourself--and the kitten,” he added,
with forced gayety, as he crossed the room.
That afternoon Chilcote's nervous condition reached its height. All day
he had avoided the climax, but no evasion can be eternal, and this he
realized as he sat in his place on the Opposition benches during the
half-hour of wintry twilight that precedes the turning-on of the lights.
He realized it in that half-hour, but the application of the knowledge
followed later, when the time came for him to question the government
on some point relating to a proposed additional dry-dock at Talkley, the
naval base. Then for the first time he knew that the sufferings of
the past months could have a visible as well as a hidden side--could
disorganize his daily routine as they had already demoralized his will
and character.
The thing came upon him with extraordinary lack of preparation. He sat
through the twilight with tolerable calm, his nervousness showing only
in the occasional lifting of his hand to his collar and the frequent
changing of his position; but when the lights were turned on, and he
leaned back in his seat with closed eyes, he became conscious of a
curious impression--a disturbing idea that through his closed lids he
could see the faces on the opposite side of the House, see the rows of
eyes, sleepy, interested, or vigilant. Never before had the
sensation presented itself, but, once set up, it ran through all his
susceptibilities. By an absurd freak of fancy those varying eyes seemed
to pierce through his lids, almost through his eyeballs. The cold
perspiration that was his daily horror broke out on his forehead; and at
the same moment Fraide, his leader, turned, leaned over the back of his
seat, and touched his knee.
Chilcote started and opened his eyes. “I--I believe I was dozing,” he
said, confusedly.
Fraide smiled his dry, kindly smile. “A fatal admission for a member of
the Opposition,” he said. “But I was looking for you earlier in the day,
Chilcote. There is something behind this Persian affair. I believe it to
be a mere first move on Russia's part. You big trading people will find
it worth watching.”
Chilcote shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, I don't know,” he said. “I
scarcely believe in it. Lakely put a match to the powder in the 'St.
George's', but 'twill only be a noise and a puff of smoke.”
But Fraide did not smile. “What is the feeling down at Wark?” he asked.
“Has it awakened any interest?”
“At Wark? Oh, I--I don't quite know. I have been a little out of touch
with Wark in the last few weeks. A man has so many private affairs to
look to--” He was uneasy under his chief's scrutiny.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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