Because of Chilcote, he was despised by Chilcote's wife! There was
no denying that in all the pleasant excitement of the adventure that
knowledge had rankled. It came to him now linked with remembrance of
the slight, reluctant touch of her fingers, the faintly evasive dislike
underlying her glance. It was a trivial thing, but it touched his pride
as a man. That was how he put it to himself. It wasn't that he valued
this woman's opinion--any woman's opinion; it was merely that it touched
his pride. He turned again to the window and gazed out, the engagement
book still between his hands. What if he compelled her respect? What if
by his own personality cloaked under Chilcote's identity he forced her
to admit his capability? It was a matter of pride, after all--scarcely
even of pride; self-respect was a better word.
Satisfied by his own reasoning, he turned back into the room.
“See to those letters, Greening,” he said. “And for the rest of the
morning's work you might go on with your Khorasan notes. I believe we'll
all want every inch of knowledge we can get in that quarter before we're
much older. I'll see you again later.” With a reassuring nod he crossed
the room and passed through the door.
He lunched with Fraide at his club, and afterwards walked with him to
Westminster. The walk and lunch were both memorable. In that hour he
learned many things that had been sealed to him before. He tasted his
first draught of real elation, his first drop of real discomfiture.
He saw for the first time how a great man may condescend--how
unostentatiously, how fully, how delightfully. He felt what tact and
kindness perfectly combined may accomplish, and he burned inwardly with
a sense of duplicity that crushed and elated him alternately. He was
John Loder, friendless, penniless, with no present and no future, yet he
walked down Whitehall in the full light of day with one of the greatest
statesmen England has known.
Some strangers were being shown over the Terrace when he and Fraide
reached the House, and, noticing the open door, the old man paused.
“I never refuse fresh air,” he said. “Shall we take another breath of it
before settling down?” He took Loder's arm and drew him forward. As they
passed through the door-way the pressure of his fingers tightened. “I
shall reckon to-day among my pleasantest memories, Chilcote,” he said,
gravely. “I can't explain the feeling, but I seem to have touched Eve's
husband--the real you, more closely this morning than I ever did before.
It has been a genuine happiness.” He looked up with the eyes that,
through all his years of action and responsibility, had remained so
bright.
But Loder paled suddenly, and his glance turned to the river-wide,
mysterious, secret. Unconsciously Fraide had stripped the illusion. It
was not John Loder who walked here; it was Chilcote--Chilcote with his
position, his constituency--his wife. He half extricated his arm, but
Fraide held it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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