“My dear Chilcote,” he said, “we are all proud of you!” Then, looking up
into his face, he added, in a graver tone, “But keep your mind upon the
future; never be blinded by the present--however bright it seems.”
At the touch of his hand, at the spontaneous approval of his first
words, Loder's pride thrilled, and in a vehement rush of ambition his
senses answered to the praise. Then, as Fraide in all unconsciousness
added his second sentence, the hot glow of feeling suddenly chilled. In
a sweep of intuitive reaction the meaning and the danger of his falsely
real position extinguished his excitement and turned his triumph cold.
With an involuntary gesture he withdrew his arm.
“You're very good, sir,” he said. “And you're very right. We never
should forget that there is--a future.”
The old man glanced up, surprised by the tone.
“Quite so, Chilcote,” he said, kindly. “But we only advise those in whom
we believe to look towards it. Shall we find my wife? I know she will
want to bear you home with us.”
But Loder's joy in himself and his achievement had dropped from him. He
shrank suddenly from Lady Sarah's congratulations and Eve's warm, silent
approbation.
“Thanks, sir,” he said, “but I don't feel fit for society. A touch of
my--nerves, I suppose.” He laughed shortly. “But do you mind saying
to Eve that I hope I have--satisfied her?” he added this as if in
half-reluctant after-thought. Then, with a short pressure of Fraide's
hand, he turned, evading the many groups that waited to claim him, and
passed out of the House alone.
Hailing a cab, he drove to Grosvenor Square. All the exaltation of an
hour ago had turned to ashes. His excitement had found its culmination
in a sense of futility and premonition.
He met no one in the hall or on the stairs of Chilcote's house, and on
entering the study he found that also deserted. Greening had been among
the most absorbed of those who had listened to his speech. Passing at
once into the room, he crossed as if by instinct to the desk, and there
halted. On the top of some unopened letters lay the significant yellow
envelope of a telegram--the telegram that in an unformed, subconscious
way had sprung to his expectation on the moment of Fraide's
congratulation.
Very quietly he picked it up, opened and read it, and, with the
automatic caution that had become habitual, carried it across the room
and dropped it in the fire. This done, he returned to the desk, read the
letters that awaited Chilcote, and, scribbling the necessary notes upon
the margins, left them in readiness for Greening. Then, moving with the
same quiet suppression, he passed from the room, down the stairs, and
out into the street by the way he had come.
XX
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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