On the fifth day after the momentous 1st of April on which he had
recalled Loder and resumed his own life Chilcote left his house and
walked towards Bond Street. Though the morning was clear and the air
almost warm for the time of year, he was buttoned into a long overcoat
and was wearing a muffler and a pair of doeskin gloves. As he passed
along the street he kept close to the house fronts to avoid the sun that
was everywhere stirring the winterbound town, like a suffusion of young
blood through old veins. He avoided the warmth because in this instance
warmth meant light, but as he moved he shivered slightly from time to
time with the haunting, permeating cold that of late had become his
persistent shadow.
He was ill at case as he hurried forward. With each succeeding day
of the old life the new annoyances, the new obligations became more
hampering. Before his compact with Loder this old life had been a net
about his feet; now the meshes seemed to have narrowed, the net itself
to have spread till it smothered his whole being. His own household--his
own rooms, even--offered no sanctuary. The presence of another
personality tinged the atmosphere. It was preposterous, but it was
undeniable. The lay figure that he had set in his place had proved to
be flesh and blood--had usurped his life, his position, his very
personality, by sheer right of strength. As he walked along Bond Street
in the first sunshine of the year, jostled by the well-dressed crowd, he
felt a pariah.
He revolted at the new order of things, but the revolt was a silent
one-the iron of expediency had entered into his soul. He dared not
jeopardize Loder's position, because he dared not dispense with Loder.
The door that guarded his vice drew him more resistlessly with every
indulgence, and Loder's was the voice that called the “Open Sesame!”
He walked on aimlessly. He had been but five days at home, and already
the quiet, grass-grown court of Clifford's Inn, the bare staircase, the
comfortless privacy of Loder's rooms seemed a haven of refuge. The speed
with which this hunger had returned frightened him.
He walked forward rapidly and without encountering a check. Then,
suddenly, the spell was broken. From the slowly moving, brilliantly
dressed throng of people some one called him by his name; and turning he
saw Lillian Astrupp.
She was stepping from the door of a jeweller's, and as he turned she
paused, holding out her hand.
“The very person I would have wished to see!” she exclaimed. “Where have
you been these hundred years? I've heard of nobody but you since you've
turned politician and ceased to be a mere member of Parliament!” She
laughed softly. The laugh suited the light spring air, as she herself
suited the pleasant, superficial scene.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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