The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable ComedyJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Drama
(JAWBONES _goes out_.)
(_He seats himself at table and takes up some correspondence_. _To_
GINGER.) Are you waiting for any one?
GINGER. A letter from her ladyship. (_She picks up from the desk and
hands him the letter_ SIGSBY _had thrown there_.) Her ladyship thought
you ought to be consulted.
GEOFFREY. (_He reads the short letter with a gathering frown—hands it
across to_ ST. HERBERT.)
ST. HERBERT. (_Having read_, _he passes it back in silence_.)
GEOFFREY. (_To_ GINGER.) Do you know the contents of this letter?
GINGER. The matter has been discussed among us—informally.
GEOFFREY. Tell Lady Mogton I’ll—talk to her myself on the subject.
GINGER. Thank you. (_She collects her etceteras_.) Good afternoon.
GEOFFREY. (_Shortly_.) Good afternoon.
GINGER. (_She bows graciously to_ ST. HERBERT, _who responds_. _Goes
out_.)
GEOFFREY. The devil of it is that it’s the truth.
ST. HERBERT. Somebody was bound to say it, sooner or later!
GEOFFREY. Yes, but one’s own wife! This is a confoundedly awkward
situation.
ST. HERBERT. (_He comes to him_, _stands looking down at him_.) Did it
never occur to you, when you were advocating equal political rights for
women, that awkward situations might arise?
GEOFFREY. (_He leans back in his chair_.) Do you remember Tommy the
Terrier, as they used to call him in the House—was always preaching
Socialism?
ST. HERBERT. Quite the most amusing man I ever met!
GEOFFREY. And not afraid of being honest. Do you remember his answer
when somebody asked him what he would do if Socialism, by any chance,
really became established in England? He had just married an American
heiress. He said he should emigrate. I am still convinced that woman is
entitled to equal political rights with man. I didn’t think it was
coming in my time. There are points in the problem remaining to be
settled before we can arrive at a working solution. This is one of them.
(_He takes up the letter and reads_.) “Are you prepared to have as your
representative a person who for six months out of every year may be
incapacitated from serving you?” It’s easy enough to say I oughtn’t to
allow my supporters to drag in the personal element. I like it even less
myself. But what’s the answer?
(JAWBONES _enters with a tray_.)
JAWBONES. (_Places tray on table_.) Tea’s coming in a minute, sir.
(_He is clearing away_.)
GEOFFREY. Never mind all that. (_He hands him a slip_.) Take this to
the printers. Tell them I must have a proof to-night.
JAWBONES. Yes, sir.
(_Finds his cap and goes out_.)
ST. HERBERT. The answer, I should say, would be that the majority of
women will continue to find something better to do. The women who will
throw themselves into politics will be the unattached women, the
childless women. (_In an instant he sees his mistake_, _but it is too
late_.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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