The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable ComedyJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Drama
(_She slips the ring over her finger_, _still with her eyes drawing
him_. _He catches her to him in fierce passion_, _kisses her_.)
(_A loud shrill female cheer comes from the crowd_. _The cheer is
renewed and renewed_.)
JAWBONES. (_He breaks away and goes to the window_.) ’Ullo! What are
they shoutin’ about now? (_He looks out_.) It’s the Donah!
GINGER. Mrs. Chilvers?
JAWBONES. Yus. Better not get wearin’ it—may shock their feelings.
GINGER. (_She gazes rapturously at the ring as she draws it off_.) It
is a beauty! I do love yer, Bill.
(_There enter_ ANNYS _and_ ELIZABETH. ANNYS _is excited_; _she is
laughing and talking_.)
ANNYS. (_Laughing while she rearranges her hat and hair_.) A little
embarrassing. That red-haired girl—she carried me right up the steps. I
was afraid she would—
(JAWBONES _has been quick enough to swing a chair into place just in
time to receive her_.)
(_She recovers herself_.) Thank you.
ELIZABETH. (_She hands_ ANNYS _a smelling-bottle_. _To_ JAWBONES.)
Open the window a few inches.
(_He does so_. _Some woman_, _much interrupted_, _is making a
speech_.)
(JANET _opens the door a little way and looks in_.)
JANET. Oh, it is you! I am glad!
(_She goes out again_.)
ELIZABETH. Are the others all here?
GINGER. ’Er ladyship is watching the counting. Miss Phoebe ’as just
gone out—
(PHOEBE _enters_.)
Oh, ’ere she is.
PHOEBE. Hullo! (_She is taking off her things_.) Wherever have you
been? We’ve been scouring the neighbourhood—
(LADY MOGTON _enters_, _followed by_ JANET.)
I say, you’re looking jolly chippy.
ELIZABETH. We had an extra enthusiastic meeting. She spoke for rather a
long time. I made her come home with me and lie down. I think she is
all right now.
LADY MOGTON. Would you like to see a doctor?
PHOEBE. There is a very good man close here. (_She turns to_ JAWBONES,
_who is still near the window_.) Gordon—
ANNYS. (_Interrupting_.) No. Please don’t. I am quite all right. I
hate strange doctors.
PHOEBE. Well, let me send for Whitby; he could be here in twenty
minutes.
ANNYS. I wish you would all leave me alone. There’s absolutely nothing
to fuss about whatever. We pampered women—we can’t breathe the same air
that ordinary mortals have to. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves.
PHOEBE. (_To herself_.) Obstinate pig.
(_She catches_ JAWBONES’ _eye_; _unnoticed by the others_, _she takes
him aside_. _They whisper_.)
ANNYS. How is it going?
LADY MOGTON. You must be prepared for winning. (_She puts again the
question that_ ANNYS _has frequently been asked to answer during the last
few days_.) What are you going to do?
(MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS _enters_, _as usual in a flutter of
excitement_.)
MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. Am I late?
(_They brush her back into silence_. ELIZABETH _takes charge of her_.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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