The master of St. Benedict's, Vol. 1 (of 2)St. Aubyn, Alan
General
The master of St. Benedict's, Vol. 1 (of 2)
St. Aubyn, Alan
Cambridge (England) -- Fiction; School principals -- Fiction; Students -- Fiction
'How do you do?' may mean a great deal, or it may mean nothing. It
didn't mean very much from Miss Wrayburne's lips, and the smile that
accompanied it meant less. If it had been a whole smile, or a smile
meant entirely for Lucy, there might have been something in it; but it
was only the fag-end of a smile that had already been distributed over
half a dozen girls.
Lucy accepted it meekly; and with those red spots burning on her cheeks
and a choky feeling in her throat she went back to her room--her little
desolate, bare room. She felt so utterly miserable and lonely on this
wretched first night that she sat down on the side of her bed and had
a little weep. Everything was so different to what she had expected;
all her castles had been so rudely thrown down.
And then, while she was weeping these foolish tears, she remembered
a little curate--a weak-minded young man with red hair; perhaps Miss
Stubbs had recalled him--who had once asked her to be his wife. She
had refused him indignantly. What girl in her senses would accept a
curate with red hair and one hundred and fifty pounds a year? She was
not sure, if he had come to her now as she sat in that dismal room,
feeling so utterly lonely and miserable, that she would have given him
the same answer. She wanted a little love so much; and he loved her
in spite of his red hair. She was not so certain, after all, that the
higher education of women is quite the best thing--the thing most to
be desired in the world. There are other things--she had not thought
of them till now, as she sat weeping at the edge of the bed--that make
up a woman's life: love, religion, duty, ministering to the wants of
others; but love chiefly. She was not sure, after all, if this was not
the _summum bonum_ of a woman's life.
Lucy was so utterly miserable as she sat there weeping that, if the
red-haired curate had come to her at that weak moment, she would have
thrown over all her ambitions, she would have given up the higher
education altogether, and she would have gone away with him to that
poor little moorland cottage, and pinched, and pared, and slaved for
him, as dear women before her have pinched and slaved for those they
love ever since the world began.
While she was still thinking of the curate, and the tears were
dropping into her lap, there was a knock at the door, and someone came
in. Lucy started guiltily, and hurriedly wiped her eyes. It was not
the red-headed curate. It was a girl--to be more correct, a woman.
Everybody is a woman at Newnham. A second-year girl, who had called
to see if she could help her to unpack her things and get her room in
order.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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