Biography reveals how many of the great believers have passed through
this youthful period of rebellion against accepted tradition and have
suffered serious religious unsettlement in the process. Robert
Browning tells us that as a boy he was "passionately religious." When
his period of questioning and revolt arrived, however, it carried him
so far that he was publicly rebuked in church for intentional
misbehavior, and in his sixteenth year, under the influence of
Shelley's "Queen Mab," he declared himself an atheist. But in his
"Pauline," written when he was twenty-one, the direction in which his
quest was leading him was plain:
"I have always had one lode-star; now
As I look back, I see that I have halted
Or hastened as I looked towards that star--
A need, a trust, a yearning after God."
And when he grew to his maturity, had left his early credulousness
with the revolt that followed it far behind and had used his
independent thinking to productive purpose, from what a height of
splendid faith did he look back upon that youthful period of storm and
stress which he called "the passionate, impatient struggles of a boy
toward truth and love"!
Henry Ward Beecher's intellectual revolution was postponed until he
had entered the theological seminary. "I was then twenty years old,"
he writes, "and there came a great revulsion in me from all this
inchoate, unregulated, undirected experience. My mind took one
tremendous spring over into scepticism, and I said: 'I have been a
fool long enough--I will not stir one step further than I can see my
way, and I will not stand a moment where I cannot see the truth. I
will have something that is sure and steadfast.' Having taken that
ground, I was in that state of mind for the larger part of two years."
A wholesome restraint upon the wild perversions, the anarchic denials,
the abysmal despairs of this period of life is the clear recognition
that in some form it is one of the commonest experiences of man.
II
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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