KATHLEEN [_Pouncing on it_]
Here it is!
[_Picks it up near the armchair._]
OMNES
Oh!
KATHLEEN
Sure, it's gotten all dirthy.
[_She takes out a handkerchief and wipes the nose carefully._]
QUINCY
But why do you want a nose like that?
KATHLEEN [_Proudly_]
Bekaz we're Hebrews!
QUINCY
What!
VERA
What _do_ you mean?
KATHLEEN
It's our Carnival to-day! _Purim._
[_She carries her nose carefully and piously toward the
kitchen._]
VERA
Oh! I see.
[_Exit KATHLEEN._]
QUINCY [_In horror_]
Miss Revendal, you don't mean to say you've brought me to a Jew!
VERA
I'm afraid I have. I was thinking only of his genius, not his race. And
you see, so many musicians are Jews.
QUINCY
Not _my_ musicians. No Jew's harp in my orchestra, eh?
[_He sniggers._]
I wouldn't have a Jew if he paid _me_.
VERA
I daresay you have some, all the same.
QUINCY
Impossible. Poppy! Are there any Jews in my orchestra?
PAPPELMEISTER [_Removing the cup from his mouth and speaking with
sepulchral solemnity_]
Do you mean are dere any Christians?
QUINCY [_In horror_]
Gee-rusalem! Perhaps _you're_ a Jew!
PAPPELMEISTER [_Gravely_]
I haf not de honour. But, if you brefer, I will gut out from my
brogrammes all de Chewish composers. _Was?_
QUINCY
Why, of course. Fire 'em out, every mother's son of 'em.
PAPPELMEISTER [_Unsmiling_]
_Also_--no more comic operas!
QUINCY
What!!!
PAPPELMEISTER
Dey write all de comic operas!
QUINCY
Brute!
[_PAPPELMEISTER'S chuckle is heard gurgling in his cup. Re-enter
MENDEL from kitchen._]
MENDEL [_To VERA_]
I'm so sorry--I can't get him to come in--he's terrible shy.
QUINCY
Won't face the music, eh?
[_He sniggers._]
VERA
Did you tell him _I_ was here?
MENDEL
Of course.
VERA [_Disappointed_]
Oh!
MENDEL
But I've persuaded him to let me show his MS.
VERA [_With forced satisfaction_]
Oh, well, that's all we want.
[_MENDEL goes to the desk, opens it, and gets the MS. and offers
it to QUINCY DAVENPORT._]
QUINCY
Not for me--Poppy!
[_MENDEL offers it to PAPPELMEISTER, who takes it solemnly._]
MENDEL [_Anxiously to PAPPELMEISTER_]
Of course you must remember his youth and his lack of musical
education----
PAPPELMEISTER
_Bitte, das Pult!_
[_MENDEL moves DAVID'S music-stand from the corner to the centre
of the room. PAPPELMEISTER puts MS. on it._]
_So!_
[_All eyes centre on him eagerly, MENDEL standing uneasily, the
others sitting. PAPPELMEISTER polishes his glasses with
irritating elaborateness and weary "achs," then reads in absolute
silence. A pause._]
QUINCY [_Bored by the silence_]
But won't you play it to us?
PAPPELMEISTER
Blay it? Am I an orchestra? I blay it in my brain.
[_He goes on reading, his brow gets wrinkled. He ruffles his hair
unconsciously. All watch him anxiously--he turns the page._]
_So!_
VERA [_Anxiously_]
You don't seem to like it!
PAPPELMEISTER
I do not comprehend it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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