The Memoirs of a Swine in the Land of Kultur; or, How it Felt to be a Prisoner of WarMuse, Benjamin
History
The Memoirs of a Swine in the Land of Kultur; or, How it Felt to be a Prisoner of War
Muse, Benjamin
World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives; World War, 1914-1918 -- Prisoners and prisons, German
My sentence of seven days’ arrest was to consist of seven consecutive
Sundays of confinement in my room, in the attic, without food. What
occasion I gave them for a report of good conduct I don’t know, but
the seven days were mercifully reduced to two. Having a liberal supply
of newspapers, tobacco and food concealed in my room and the German
serving girl bravely passing me jugs of hot coffee by means of a string
dropped from the window, I spent these two days quite pleasantly.
It was during my detention that I learned of great success of our
offensive and the probability of an early crash in Germany. From then
on I read the newspapers with feverish interest whenever I could get
them and made short translations on the backs of letters to be passed
to other Englishmen in the village, and to the other villages. I grew
restless and impatient as the rumors of capitulation and revolution
became more insistent. I couldn’t wait to read the papers. I longed to
hear and see more of the great things which were happening in the world
outside of our sleepy village.
At last I contrived to get as far as Parchim on the excuse of going for
a bath. My sentry took me in the morning and brought me back in the
afternoon.
On the train the passengers were talking excitedly, but in subdued
tones lest I should hear. A telegram was passed down the carriage. The
gentleman on my right carefully passed it _around_ me to the gentleman
on my left.
“For God’s sake let me see it, _Kamarad_!” I begged.
“_Nein. Es ist verboten._”[21]
I studied the back of the paper as he held it up to read it and made
out the word “Kaiser!”
“_Bitte!_[22] _Bitte! Kamarad_,” I whispered, “is the Kaiser gone?”
“Not yet, but soon!” he replied.
The Parchim Railway station was heavily guarded by the Badgeless troops
of the _Soldatenrat_.[23] In the camp I found the boys all merry and
bright. The signing of the Armistice was daily expected. Repatriation
by Christmas was conceived possible.
I gathered all the news I could from the English chaps in the baths.
A new regime had come in the camp. All the officers and all the most
notorious of the old bullies had fled, leaving the _Soldatenrat_ in
control.
“They found ‘Mad Alek,’” he announced.
“Found him?” I asked puzzled.
“Yes, he beat it, you know. Disappeared when they heard Bulgaria had
chucked it--took most of the garrison funds with him. They found him
last week in a forest near the Danish frontier. He’d hung himself.”
I returned to my farm, resolved to submit to no more restrictions, if
indeed to work at all. I could not help taunting my sentry and all my
favorite enemies in the village (who had so long jeered at me) over
Germany’s debacle. They had always regarded me as a “Smart Alek” and
now I exasperated them delightfully. My relations with the sentry
reached a climax one evening when he found me reading a newspaper by
candle-light in the barn.
“_Das ist verboten!_” he commanded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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