The Memoirs of Harriette Wilson, Volumes One and Two: Written by HerselfWilson, Harriette
General
The Memoirs of Harriette Wilson, Volumes One and Two: Written by Herself
Wilson, Harriette
Courtesans -- Great Britain -- Biography; Wilson, Harriette, 1786-1846
The next morning, with my heart beating unusually high, I attended my
appointment with Argyle. I hoped, nay almost expected, to find him there
before me. I paraded near the turnpike five minutes, then grew angry; in
five more, I became wretched; in five more, downright indignant; and, in
five more, wretched again--and so I returned home.
"This," thought I, "shall be a lesson to me hereafter, never to meet a
man: it is unnatural:" and yet I had felt it perfectly natural to return
to the person whose society had made me so happy! "No matter," reasoned
I, "we females must not suffer love or pleasure to glow in our eyes,
until we are quite sure of a return. We must be dignified!"
Alas! I can only be and seem what I am. No doubt my sunny face of joy
and happiness, which he talked to me about, was understood, and it has
disgusted him. He thought me bold, and yet I am sure I never blushed so
much in any man's society before.
I now began to consider myself with feelings of the most painful
humility. Suddenly I flew to my writing-desk; "He shall not have the cut
all on his side, neither," thought I, with the pride of a child, "I will
soon convince him I am not accustomed to be slighted;" and then I wrote
to his grace as follows:
"It was very wrong and very bold of me to have sought your
acquaintance, in the way I did, my lord; and I entreat you to
forgive and to forget my childish folly, as completely as I have
forgotten the occasion of it."
"So far so good," thought I, pausing, "but then suppose he should, from
this dry note, really believe me so cold and stupid as not to have felt
his pleasing qualities. Suppose now it were possible he liked me after
all!" Then hastily, and half ashamed of myself, I added these few lines:
"I have not quite deserved this contempt from you, and, in
that consolatory reflection, I take my leave; not in anger my
lord, but only with the steady determination so to profit by the
humiliating lesson you have given me as never to expose myself to
the like contempt again.
"Your most obedient servant,
"HARRIETTE WILSON."
Having put my letter into the post, I passed a restless night: and
the next morning, heard the knock of the twopenny postman in extreme
agitation. He brought me, as I suspected, an answer from Argyle, which
is subjoined.
"You are not half vain enough, dear Harriette. You ought to
have been quite certain that any man who had once met you could not
fail in a second appointment but from unavoidable accident--and, if
you were only half as pleased with Thursday morning, as I was, you
will meet me to-morrow in the same place at four. Pray, pray, come.
"LORNE."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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