The Memoirs of Jacques Casanova de Seingalt, 1725-1798. Volume 08: Convent AffairsCasanova, Giacomo
History
The Memoirs of Jacques Casanova de Seingalt, 1725-1798. Volume 08: Convent Affairs
Casanova, Giacomo
Casanova, Giacomo, 1725-1798; Europe -- History -- 18th century -- Biography
"You have somewhat offended me, my own darling, by telling me, respecting
the mystery which I am bound to keep on the subject of my lover, that,
satisfied to possess my heart, you left me mistress of my mind. That
division of the heart and of the mind appears to me a pure sophism, and
if it does not strike you as such you must admit that you do not love me
wholly, for I cannot exist without mind, and you cannot cherish my heart
if it does not agree with my mind. If your love cannot accept a different
state of things it does not excel in delicacy. However, as some
circumstance might occur in which you might accuse me of not having acted
towards you with all the sincerity that true love inspires, and that it
has a right to demand, I have made up my mind to confide to you a secret
which concerns my friend, although I am aware that he relies entirely
upon my discretion. I shall certainly be guilty of a breach of
confidence, but you will not love me less for it, because, compelled to
choose between you two, and to deceive either one or the other, love has
conquered friendship; do not punish me for it, for it has not been done
blindly, and you will, I trust, consider the reasons which have caused
the scale to weigh down in your favour.
"When I found myself incapable of resisting my wish to know you and to
become intimate with you, I could not gratify that wish without taking my
friend into my confidence, and I had no doubt of his compliance. He
conceived a very favourable opinion of your character from your first
letter, not only because you had chosen the parlour of the convent for
our first interview, but also because you appointed his casino at Muran
instead of your own. But he likewise begged of me to allow him to be
present at our first meeting-place, in a small closet--a true
hiding-place, from which one can see and hear everything without being
suspected by those in the drawing-room. You have not yet seen that
mysterious closet, but I will shew it to you on the last day of the year.
Tell me, dearest, whether I could refuse that singular request to the man
who was shewing me such compliant kindness? I consented, and it was
natural for me not to let you know it. You are therefore aware now that
my friend was a witness of all we did and said during the first night
that we spent together, but do not let that annoy you, for you pleased
him in everything, in your behaviour towards me as well as in the witty
sayings which you uttered to make me laugh. I was in great fear, when the
conversation turned upon him, lest you would say something which might
hurt his self-love, but, very fortunately, he heard only the most
flattering compliments. Such is, dearest love, the sincere confession of
my treason, but as a wise lover you will forgive me because it has not
done you the slightest harm. My friend is extremely curious to ascertain
who you are. But listen to me, that night you were natural and thoroughly
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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