The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. YellowplushThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Didactic fiction; England -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Master and servant -- Fiction
They didn't appear, however; but, on the contry, the very same
newspeper, which had been before so abusiff of Deuceace, was now loud in
his praise. It said:--
“A paragraph was inadvertently admitted into our paper of last week,
most unjustly assailing the character of a gentleman of high birth and
talents, the son of the exemplary E-rl of Cr-bs. We repel, with scorn
and indignation, the dastardly falsehoods of the malignant slanderer
who vilified Mr. De--ce-ce, and beg to offer that gentleman the only
reparation in our power for having thus tampered with his unsullied
name. We disbelieve the RUFFIAN and HIS STORY, and most sincerely
regret that such a tale, or SUCH A WRITER, should ever have been brought
forward to the readers of this paper.”
This was satisfactory, and no mistake: and much pleased we were at the
denial of this conshentious editor. So much pleased that master sent
him a ten-pound noat, and his complymints. He'd sent another to the same
address, BEFORE this parrowgraff was printed; WHY, I can't think: for I
woodn't suppose any thing musnary in a littery man.
Well, after this bisniss was concluded, the currier hired, the carridge
smartened a little, and me set up in my new livries, we bade ojew to
Bulong in the grandest state posbill. What a figure we cut! and, my i,
what a figger the postillion cut! A cock-hat, a jackit made out of a
cow's skin (it was in cold weather), a pig-tale about 3 fit in length,
and a pair of boots! Oh, sich a pare! A bishop might almost have
preached out of one, or a modrat-sized famly slep in it. Me and Mr.
Schwigshhnaps, the currier, sate behind in the rumbill; master aloan in
the inside, as grand as a Turk, and rapt up in his fine fir-cloak. Off
we sett, bowing gracefly to the crowd; the harniss-bells jinglin, the
great white hosses snortin, kickin, and squeelin, and the postilium
cracking his wip, as loud as if he'd been drivin her majesty the quean.
. . . . . .
Well, I shan't describe our voyitch. We passed sefral sitties,
willitches, and metrappolishes; sleeping the fust night at Amiens,
witch, as everyboddy knows, is famous ever since the year 1802 for
what's called the Pease of Amiens. We had some, very good, done with
sugar and brown sos, in the Amiens way. But after all the boasting about
them, I think I like our marrowphats better.
Speaking of wedgytables, another singler axdent happened here concarning
them. Master, who was brexfasting before going away, told me to go and
get him his fur travling-shoes. I went and toald the waiter of the
inn, who stared, grinned (as these chaps always do), said “Bong” (which
means, very well), and presently came back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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