NICOLE: I heard said, Madame, that today he took a Philosophy Master to thicken the soup! MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Very well. I have a wish to have wit and to reason about things with decent people. MADAME JOURDAIN: Don't you intend, one of these days, to go to school and have yourself whipped at your age? MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Why not? Would to God I were whipped this minute in front of everyone, if I only knew what they learn at school! NICOLE: Yes, my faith! That would get you into better shape. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Without doubt. MADAME JOURDAIN: All this is very important to the management of your house. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Assuredly. You both talk like beasts, and I'm ashamed of your ignorance. For example, do you know what are you speaking just now? MADAME JOURDAIN: Yes, I know that what I'm saying is well said and that you ought to be considering living in another way. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'm not talking about that. I'm asking if you know what the words are that you are saying here? MADAME JOURDAIN: They are words that are very sensible, and your conduct is scarcely so. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'm not talking about that, I tell you. I'm asking you: what is it that I'm speaking to you this minute, what is it? MADAME JOURDAIN: Nonsense. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No, no! That's not it. What is it we are both saying, what language is it that we are speaking right now? MADAME JOURDAIN: Well? MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What is it called? MADAME JOURDAIN: It's called whatever you want. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: It's prose, you ignorant creature. MADAME JOURDAIN: Prose? MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Yes, prose. Everything is prose that is not verse; and everything that's not verse is prose. There! This is what it is to study! And you (to Nicole), do you know what you must do to say U? NICOLE: What? MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Say U, in order to see. NICOLE: Oh Well, U. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What do you do? NICOLE: I say U. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Yes, but, when you say U, what do you do? NICOLE: I do what you tell me to. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Oh, how strange it is to have to deal with morons! You thrust your lips out and bring your lower jaw to your upper jaw: U, see? U. Do you see? I make a pout: U. NICOLE: Yes, that's beautiful. MADAME JOURDAIN: How admirable. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: But it's quite another thing, if you have seen O, and D, D, and F, F. MADAME JOURDAIN: What is all this rigmarole? NICOLE: What does all this do for us? MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: It enrages me when I see these ignorant women. MADAME JOURDAIN: Go, go, you ought to send all those people packing with their foolishness. NICOLE: And above all, that great gawk of a Fencing Master, who ruins all my work with dust.