‘My wretched bones are jumbled to a jelly. ‘Then there’s my best Reg’mentals all bedevil’d ‘By that D----n’d Stink-pot which at me was levell’d.’ Ward felt an interest in his friend’s behalf, But for his soul could not restrain a laugh. So bid him Breakfast, and forget his cares, And then he’d try to manage his affairs. So said, so done. ‘And now,’ says honest Ward, ‘If I can’t set you right, it is D----n’d hard: ‘At B----’s Hotel you will get ev’ry comfort, ‘’Tis true he’ll make you pay a lumping sum for’t.’ ‘O D----n the expence,’ says John, ‘’tis all as well’; So sent Teague, Trunks and all, to the Hotel. With Teague, John went next day to buy his stud, A Mule[9] for baggage, and a bit of Blood. Now see him in the Fair, with anxious face, Trying this Dobbin’s metal, t’ other’s pace. ‘I say, you Whiskers, what do you ask for that? ‘A Horse you call it--much more like a Rat.’ ‘_Noventa Dollars, Quienza Moidorés._’ ‘How many Guineas, Mister?--what a bore he’s!’ ‘No _Senhor_, no Guineas, _no Senhor, no say_.’ ‘Why how the Devil then am I to pay?’ But getting Dollars, he the Dobbin bought, When something passing, his attention caught. ‘Here, stop that Fellow, Teague, don’t let him pass; ‘I say, you Quiz, what ask you for that Ass?’ ‘By Ja--s, Sir,’ says Teague, ‘you’re in a wrong Key, ‘It is a thumping Mule, and not a Donkey.’ ‘What!’ retorts John, ‘do you think I am a fool? ‘What! don’t I know a Donkey from a Mule?’ But Teague was right, and so his master found, And for the Beast, John offered Thirty Pound. ‘No,’ says the Owner, ‘but perhaps you will ‘Give Thirty-five, and I will take your Bill.’ ‘My Bill,’ says John, ‘a match, Sir; it is done, ‘To touch old Daddy’s pockets, no bad fun.’ The Beasts thus bought, by Teague were taken Home; So having time, John thought he’d take a roam. Strolling along, he saw the Portuguese, Instead of hand, return a hugging squeeze.[10] What beasts! thinks John. I’m very sure no true man Would hug a Fellow, as we do loved Woman; In my dear country, Women are delightful-- None here I’ve seen as yet, but what are frightful. Now Smith’s Repository[11] came in view, ‘Ah! ah!’ says John, ‘I’ve something there to do.’ The stairs he quick ascended with a skip, His eyes were first attracted by a Whip; For John observ’d a Whip was most essential To make a Martial Hero consequential. For other matters he would then be jobbing, A bridle, and a saddle for his Dobbin,-- Canteens, Pack-saddle, and an oil-skin Cloak; Smith wisely said, ‘the Rain here is no joke’; He then a small Portmanteau did propose: ‘That thing,’ says John, ‘won’t hold the half my cloaths.’ ‘True, Sir,’ said Smith, ‘but you’ll have much to spare; ‘Of Forage you will get but half a share.’ Such are the Orders; you may not have seen ’em; Two Subs are but allow’d one Mule between ’em.