“Yes, the same, and these two gentlemen are my partners.” The constabulary tobacco-pipe was now withdrawn from its office, and an additional importance diffused itself over the features of the presiding judge, as he recognized the firm of Messrs. Green, Stilton, Mite, and Company. “I know the house well,” said he; “and as spectable as any in the parish of Botolph. The commerce of London is not to be insulted by the milentary. So I tell ye vat, Master, (addressing me,) you must be locked up. Who _are_ you? What's your name?” “Oh!” exclaimed one of the cheesemongers, “he's a drum-major in the Wolunteers.” This was “the most unkindest cut of all;” it perfectly silenced me. The only reply I could make, was to throw down my card indignantly, which Dogberry took up, and after gazing gravely upon it, exclaimed, “He's a Hinsign, I see: But if he was the _sarjeant-major_ himself, he shall not escape public contribution. I'll take care he's made a proper sample of; so now, gemmen, you are all at liberty to proceed to your peaceful homes, and leave this red-herring to be managed by me. I'll larn him, that he sha'n't come out of a night with his feathers, and his flipper flappers, and his red coat, to kick up a bobbery with the people. Ve dont vant sodgers in London—thank God! ve can do without 'em. Ve vant no milentary govament here, my lad; and if you come amongst us, vy you must leave off your implements o' var, and behave like a spectacle abitant. The sodgers, I say, ought to be pulled up, for they are a d——d impudent set; tickerly the guards: they try to come it over us venhever they have a tunity; but I'll let them know vhat's vhat, and larn them how to bemean themselves. So here you stop, young man, for this here night.” At the conclusion of this constitutional harangue, the cheesemongers departed, laughing at me in the most provoking manner. The mortification I felt, was indescribable. I threatened, stormed, and strutted, but all to no purpose; I only received fresh insults. At last it was hinted to me by one of the watchmen, who was inclined to indulge in a little repose, that if I would send for a respectable housekeeper, I might be bailed; and though this kindness evidently arose from a wish to get rid of me, on account of the noise I created, I availed myself of the privilege, and immediately sent to the landlord of my hotel, who soon appeared, and I was liberated. This evening's adventure gave me ample food for rumination, and I chewed my cud upon it half the night. I felt thoroughly ashamed of my folly, in having displayed my gaudy suit of regimentals, when I plainly perceived, that custom was so decidedly against it: but—_experientia docet_. I next morning locked up my uniform, and determined never to wear it, until I joined my regiment.