_Dr. Scott._ I dinna ken that—I dinna ken that; the _cream_ of the cavalry, as ye call it, did na mair under Pompey at the battle o' Pharsalia, than they did under Wellington at Waterloo. [_A silence prevails during the application of three full pinches of snuff._] _Lieut. Honeywood._ Pray, Doctor, may I ask you when _that_ action was fought? Was it before the affair of Talavera? _Cornet Lilly._ Yes, considerably previous. _Dr. Scott._ Which action?—Waterloo? _Lieut. Honeywood._ No, no; the other you mention. _Dr. Scott._ What! the Battle of Pharsalia? _Lieut. Honeywood._ Yes. _Dr. Scott_ (_having first taken snuff_). A wee bit afore that. _Cornet Lilly._ Yes, yes, my dear Honeywood, considerably before that. I have heard my father speak of it. _Lieut. Honeywood._ Pray, Mr. Lilly, how long ago may it have occurred? _Cornet Lilly._ Oh, long before the American war. The Doctor, I dare say, can tell. How many years ago, Doctor? _Dr. Scott._ As near as I can guess it is about forty-eight years— _Lieut. Honeywood._ } (_interrupting_) Yes, about _Cornet Lilly._ } forty-eight years ago—perfectly right. _Dr. Scott._ No sae fast— _Cornet Lilly._ It can't be much less, for my father— _Dr. Scott._ Stay, stay, no sae fast, young gentleman. I say, as near as I can recollect, it occurred about forty-eight years _before Christ_. _Lieut. Honeywood._ } _Before_ Christ! _Cornet Lilly._ } _Dr. Scott_ (_snuffing_). Ay, nae far fra' twa thoosand years ago. [_There was now a general laugh, and all became suddenly learned on this point; even Lieut. Honeywood and Cornet Lilly, who now affected to say that they meant to quiz the Doctor; but most betraying blushes, and unlucky countenances belied the insinuation._] _Col. Diamond._ John! [_Colonel's servant advances two paces towards the Colonel._] _Servant._ Sir! _Col. Diamond._ Why don't the band play? _All the Mess._ Ay, ay, the band—where's the band? [_This question restored the countenances of the blushers to their ordinary hue; for the little discord was drowned in the harmonious call for one band._] _Servant._ They have been in the hall since eight o'clock, Sir, waiting for orders to play. _Col. Diamond._ Oh! ah! I ordered them not to play until after dinner. Tell them to proceed now. [_Exit Servant at a gallop._] _Major Flowers._ That's a good idea, Colonel. We should be two hours later, certainly, than the heavy dragoons in this parti-cu-lar. _All the Mess._ Certainly!—decidedly!—of course. [_Band without begin to play Von Weber's favourite overture._] _Col. Diamond._ Mess-waiter! _Waiter_ (_advancing three paces towards the Colonel_). Sir! _Col. Diamond._ Tell the band-master to stop that, and to play “Lady Fanny's Hussar piece.” [_Exit Waiter in a trot._] _All the Mess._ Bravo! Colonel, a good move.