“Yes, indeed,” continued Morris; “and a fellow there, dressed up in livery (they call him the mess-waiter), saw me do it, and stopped me before the officers;--so I was obliged to leave the regiment; for the colonel was a civil fellow, and let me off without a court-martial.” “Indeed!--ho--hum----Good morning, Sir,” _politely_ replied the Major, and left the room. Of course a thing of this kind was not suffered to lie hidden under a bushel half an hour by the Major. He proceeded instantly to the Colonel, and gravely laid open to him the alarming discovery. The Colonel lost not a moment in calling a meeting of the mess. The mess assembled (all excepting Morris, to whom the meeting was not made known, for obvious reasons), and the Major, in an energetic speech, informed the mess that he had heard the fact from Mr. Quill’s own lips, with that gentleman’s solemn injunction upon the Major to be secret. All were equally astonished and alarmed; each man put his hand instinctively to his fob; and a little attorney-faced captain despatched his servant to see if his trunks were all safe. The _mad dog_ had got amongst them, and there was but one opinion about his expulsion. Morris was sent for forthwith:--the orderly-serjeant was despatched to tell him that the Colonel and the members of the mess were assembled, and that he was to attend immediately. The _delinquent_ appeared without the least hesitation, and looking as pleasantly as ever. On being informed by the Colonel of the cause of the meeting, he paused, cast his eyes archly at the Major, and exclaimed, “Ah! Major, Major! so you have told on me, though you pledged your _honour_!” (_Not a word from the Major._) “Now, Colonel, the fact of the matter is this: I was asked a question by that gentleman, which, however he might have meant it, I could not receive but as a joke (a little too free, I must say), and so I--just answered him as the joke deserved. The Major, in a way I did not much relish, asked me, ‘_What was the reason I quitted the 31st?_’ and I gave him an answer. It was a question of an odd meaning, and so I gave him an odd reply.” (_A stare and a smile from all except the Major._) “Now,” continued Morris, pulling out a bundle of letters, “there’s a letter for you, Colonel; and one for you, Captain Smith; and for you, Captain Jones; and for you, Lieutenant Edwards:”--so on, until he delivered the bundle of introductions which he brought from his last regiment. The letters were read aloud, and better fun was never enjoyed in the mess-room, nor relished with greater zest before or since; even the Major “Join’d in the laugh that almost made him sick;” and Morris became the favourite of every officer in the regiment, always excepting the _honourable_ Major himself.