The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_On the landing, to LILY, indignantly._] Lirry-- Misspa'dell----
JIMMIE.
[_To FARNCOMBE._] Here she is!
ROPER.
[_To FULKERSON._] Now, then; have it out with Lily!
LILY.
What's wrong?
[_FARNCOMBE rises and slips his note into JIMMIE'S hand._
FULKERSON.
[_To LILY._] Mosht unjusht'fiable treatmen' 'n th' part 'f these
gen'lemen!
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Listening, with the others at the centre table, to what is going on
upon the landing._] Ha, ha, ha, ha!
JIMMIE.
[_To FARNCOMBE, over her shoulder._] Good luck!
BLAND.
[_To LILY._] The youth is irate with us for cutting off supplies.
[_LILY enters with FULKERSON; ROPER and BLAND following. BLAND strolls
over to the piano, laughing._
FULKERSON.
[_To LILY._] M' argumen' is this. When a gen'leman'sh invited b' th'
lady 'f th' house t' partake 'f refreshmen'----
LILY.
[_To FULKERSON._] Be quiet, Bertie, or I'll box your ears. [_Joining
the group at the centre table._] Ho, ho! I've had such a wigging for
asking you up. Mother says we girls'll look as ugly as sin on the
stage to-night.
ENID.
So we shall-- hags.
LILY.
[_Sitting in the arm-chair by the centre table._] I feel as fresh as
paint. [_To GABRIELLE._] Give me a sip.
[_DE CASTRO hands GABRIELLE'S glass to LILY._
FULKERSON.
[_Gazing at DAPHNE stupidly and singing to himself._] "Oh, the gals!
Oh, the gals! I am awfully fond of the gals!----"
VON RETTENMAYER, ROPER, DE CASTRO, ENID AND GABRIELLE.
[_Chiming in with FULKERSON lightly._] "Be they ebon or blond, Of the
gals I am fond;----"! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
BLAND.
H'sh, h'sh! Ma's quite right. [_Seating himself at the piano._] One
more turn and then let's clear out.
LILY.
[_Jumping up._] Hurrah! [_To ROPER, as BLAND runs his hands over the
key-board._] Shut the door, Uncle Lal.
VON RETTENMAYER.
Aha! One more durn! [_To ENID._] Enid----!
FULKERSON.
[_Singing._] "I am dreadfully fond of the gals!"
ROPER.
[_Closing the door._] Choose your partners, gents! [_Very softly BLAND
plays the melody of a languorous song and instantly VON RETTENMAYER
and ENID and DE CASTRO and GABRIELLE dance to it-- VON RETTENMAYER and
ENID at the back, DE CASTRO and GABRIELLE near the piano._]
Jimmie----!
[_JIMMIE passes LILY to go to ROPER. As she does so, she presses
FARNCOMBE'S note into LILY'S palm._
JIMMIE.
[_To LILY, in a whisper._] Rat-tat, says the postman! [_Catching hold
of ROPER and swinging him round._] La, ra, ral, la----!
LILY.
[_To FARNCOMBE, who is standing by the writing-table._] Lord
Farncombe----?
[_FARNCOMBE goes to her and they dance together._
FULKERSON.
[_To DAPHNE, tapping her on the shoulder._] Missdure, may I have th'
grea' pleasure----? [_Shaking her._] Missdure-- Missdure----
DAPHNE.
[_Starting up._] Oh! [_Looking round wildly._] Oh----!
FULKERSON.
[_Dancing with her._] Pray 'xcuse th' absence 'f gloves.
DAPHNE.
[_Faintly._] Oh! Oh, I-- I thought I'd gone to bed!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account