The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_With their hands on each other's shoulders, the couples, swaying
from side to side, half sing, half murmur, the refrain of the song._
If you would only, only love me;
If you would merely, merely say,
Wait but a little, little for me,
I will be yours, be yours some day!
[_The refrain is repeated, the dancers droning to it with a, buzzing
sound, and then BLAND returns to the melody._
LILY.
[_As she dances, recollecting the note she is holding and opening
it._] What's this? [_Reading the note, her arm resting upon
FARNCOMBE'S shoulder._] "Dear Miss Parradell.... [_glancing at the
signature_] Farncombe"! [_To FARNCOMBE._] From you!
FARNCOMBE.
Yes.
LILY.
[_Reading._] "Will you allow me to----?"
[_She reads to the end silently, and then she stops dancing and they
stand for a moment looking confusedly at each other. Then, with an
expressionless face, she slips the note into her dress and they dance
again, singing the refrain as before._
BLAND.
[_At the finish, shutting down the lid of the piano and rising._]
Ladies and gentlemen, the festivities connected with Miss Parradell's
birthday are over. [_Leaving the piano._] Our lives will now resume
their normal, serious course.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Regretfully._] Ah-h-h-h!
[_The ladies put on their wraps, the men their overcoats, and there is
a great deal of stir and chatter. DE CASTRO assists GABRIELLE; VON
RETTENMAYER, ENID; FULKERSON, DAPHNE; and FARNCOMBE, JIMMIE. LILY
joins in the talk and bustle with forced animation. JIMMIE and
FARNCOMBE glance at her, and then, inquiringly, at one another._
ROPER.
[_Putting on his overcoat with BLAND'S help._] Well, nobody can say
the affair hasn't been a brilliant success; that's one comfort.
GABRIELLE.
Wouldn't be true if they did. [_To DE CASTRO, irritably._] You've got
it inside-out.
LILY.
[_To ENID and GABRIELLE, kneeling upon the settee._] Ah, yes, haven't
we had a splendid, splendid time!
ENID.
Splendid!
VON RETTENMAYER.
A gharming pardy!
DE CASTRO.
Abtholutely A 1!
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Singing._] "Venus, seinen Nacken beut Dir Dein Sklave,
dienstbereit!"
LILY.
[_Running to ROPER and seizing his hands._] A vote of thanks to Lal
for his share in getting it up!
BLAND.
[_Slapping ROPER on the back._] Bravo, Lal!
SOME OF THE OTHERS.
Bravo, Lal!
LILY.
[_Walking about._] And to Carlton! Bravo, Carlton!
SOME OF THE OTHERS.
Bravo, Carlton! Bravo, Smythe!
DE CASTRO.
[_Putting on his overcoat._] Don't forget Morrie Coolin'!
LILY.
No, don't forget Morrie. Dear old Morrie!
SOME OF THE OTHERS.
Bravo, Morrie!
DE CASTRO.
There hathn't been a hitch from thtart to finish, in fact.
LILY.
[_At the nearer side of the table again._] Not a hitch.
FULKERSON.
[_Remembering his grievance._] I beg yo' par'n-- no' a 'itch! [_In
difficulties with his overcoat._] When a gen'leman'sh invited b' th'
lady 'f th' house t' partake 'f some refreshmen'----
SOME OF THE OTHERS.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
GABRIELLE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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