‘Then I’ll say aye,’ said Isabel, suddenly lifting her head with a gleam
of her old impatience. It was far from being spoken like an oracle of
God. It was uttered hastily, with a certain nervous distaste to being
thus questioned. But when she saw the effect her words produced, her
heart failed her. Ailie sank down helplessly on the road. She did not
faint, as Isabel, being somewhat pre-occupied by her own first
experience of bodily weakness, thought. She sank down in a heap without
making an effort or a struggle. Every tint of colour fled from her face.
Her eyes, which alone seemed to have any life left in them, were raised
with a look of such reproach as made her hasty adviser tremble. But
Ailie did not say a word. She lay with the air of one stunned and
helpless among the heather. Then after the first minute a sob came from
her lips. Isabel was overcome by her own fears.
‘Oh, Ailie!’ she cried, ‘I meant nothing. Why should you put such weight
on what I say? I was impatient, and I said the first word that came to
me. I did not mean it. I meant No instead. Oh, Ailie, will you listen
now to what I say?’
‘When I’m come to myself,’ said Ailie, waving her hand. Her voice was so
low as scarcely to be audible. Then her pale lips moved, though no sound
came from them at first; and her eyes turned upward with such an
expression of submission and pain, as Isabel had never seen. ‘No my
will,’ Ailie murmured, with her hands holding her breast, ‘no my will,
but Thine.’ It was a voice as of despair, when a little thrill of
renewed vigour made it audible. Awe stole over her companion, whose
careless words had done it. Isabel, in her self-reproach, rose up from
her seat in haste. She took off the shawl in which she was wrapped, and
kneeling down beside Ailie endeavoured to place it under her. She put
her arms round her with a remorse that made an end of pride. ‘Oh, Ailie,
I meant nothing! It was my hasty way,’ she cried, bending over her,
kissing her even in her eagerness. Ailie did not resist the soft caress.
She laid her head down upon Isabel’s shoulder, and closed her eyes,
which were strained and painful with so much emotion. ‘My soul is poured
out as water--my strength hath He weakened in the way,’ she said,
leaning back with closed eyes. The struggle was over. She had resisted
long; but in this fantastic way at last she had satisfied herself, and
would struggle no more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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